The LLDD has always felt he had a Forrest Gump-like knack about him. That is to say, I often seem to accidentally back into places and events that are far more significant than anything I've deliberately been a part of. One day I'm drafting a simple legal opinion, next day I'm whisked off to Congressional hearings on the subject and made to speak like an authority. That sort of thing has happened to me over and over during my career.
(Alas, "Forrest" never seems to happen for anything cool or showbiz-y. No calling card of mine, for instance, has accidentally made its way to a MTV talent scout. I'm also still waiting for a Maxim model to approach me and say that she's chanced upon my office memos and find they "speak to her")
Anyway, I'm minding my own business, pushing papers, stirring coffee, looking forward to stinking up the Department basketball league, when all of a sudden - through a series of events TOTALLY out of my control and comprehension - I'm told out of the blue: "You're going to the U.N.!"
"Avenue?"
"General Assembly"
Gumped again!
In the same line with greatness - JFK airport apparently doesn't have diplomat lanes, so I stand in line for nearly an hour upon arrival with everyone. This is cool with me because also stuck in my line are members of Miami FC including...Romario!!! His hair is graying, but he still has a dignified, thoroughbred air about him. In contrast, the rest of the non-American players have the "I'm-glad-I'm-playing-in-the-U.S.-and-all-that-but-really-a-better-agent-should-have-been-able-to-get-me-a-reserve-squad-gig-in-Europe" look. In contrast contrast, the U.S. players have a "the-longer-I-play-the-longer-I-can-put-off-getting-that-job-in-sales" demeanor.
Remember, Siegfried and Roy are citizens of the world too - the hotel where we stayed is the closest to the U.N.; directly in front and right across the street, in fact. It's apparently a favorite among diplomats. So with around 200 nations and the entire world history to choose from, it is quite interesting that the hotel selected an early las vegas motif. I'm talking black marble, gold sidings, wall-to-wall-to-ceiling mirrors...Vegas, baby!
Foreign policy manifestation, or just diplomats getting cold. You decide - On the first day of the General Assembly, the diplomats descend on the First Avenue entrance gate en masse, only to be logjammed at the corner crossing for about 15 minutes as the U.S. President's motorcade passes through. At the exact moment that the guy next to me points to something across the street, the President's car passes across, and he apparently thinks the pointing is at him. He takes this as a cue to wave at all of us vigorously. As far as I could tell from where I was standing, none of the diplomats stuck at the corner return the wave.
- cellphones do go off accidentally during U.N. meetings, with some of the loudest and most embarrassing ringtones.
- yes, delegates from all over the world pose for pictures on the general assembly floor, even while speeches are ongoing. Hindi lang Pinoy ang mahilig sa "picture-picture"
- some of the funniest sights at the U.N. are when whole delegations wander aimlessly through mazes of hallways and cubicles looking for the venue of their meetings. A group from a European country, for instance, walked into a room where an Asian forum was in full swing, and both sides stared at the other in bewilderment. Sometimes two lost delegations bump into one another, ask a few questions, then walk away in opposite directions, still lost (just like those scenes in the original "Poseidon Adventure")
Place kinda reminds me of - New York is like the cover of a SimCity box. The U.N. somehow reminds of the CCP because of the 60-70's feel to the building. Retro, not quite dated.
If I had a dime for every time I overheard a diplomat talk about where Nicole Kidman shot "The Interpreter"...
View from my hotel window. I've come a long way from when I used to go to New York and stay at cheap backpacker hostels (on the other hand, those places had common, co-ed bedrooms and bathrooms; those were fun)
Our Mission...should we decide to accept it...
It sounds corny, but the sight of the Mission's flag from far down 5th Avenue is actually pretty inspiring (and the great deli to the left also helps)
First Avenue street fair. Love the t-shirt.
Central Park. Still New York's great redeeming feature
(although still home to some dorky dancing)
My hotel's elevator. If Wayne Newton ever becomes U.N. Sec. Gen., he'd stay in this place
Tavern-on-the-Green. Very nice central dining area, but rest of the restaurant as gaudy as my hotel. They apparently really like their mirrored walls and hallways in New York.
Diplomats swoosh by one of the many artworks scattered in the U.N. The Philippines had several smaller paintings throughout the building. Someone should make a coffee-table book about them.
The LLDD has arrived
The LLDD loved his Mr. Spock earpiece. It got at least six different languages (yet, sadly, no Howard Stern)
A cute UN tradition. While someone addresses the General Assembly, admirers and well-wishers from all over the world line up backstage, then greet the speaker after the speech. Bonus: I get to work the velvet rope! ("I don't care if you're the Chancellor of Elbonia, you're not getting in if you're not on the list. And no, I don't believe you came in with Angelina Jolie")
One of those "Only-in-the-U.N." moments: I'm standing in a hallway minding my own business when, right in front of me, the President of Iran and his posse bump into the PM of Malaysia and his posse. Instant photo-op.
Another nice "Only-in-the-U.N." scene: diplomats from all over the world crowd a little cafe inside the U.N. Dozens of nationalities, languages, races and religions share the same tables, order from the same food display, and drink from the same coffee maker. Strangely reminiscent of the cantina scene in Star Wars.
All we needed, really
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