STARING DOWN AT THE HAIRLINES OF 80s ICONS

When you live in a city with an active music scene, you can take one of several attitudes:

a) "Oooh, everything here in my city is cool and edgy. Everything, I tell you." (see York, New)
b) "Yeah, it's ok, I guess, whatever. I was into those things two years before everyone else was. I only like bands that are so obscure, even they haven't heard of themselves" (see Stuff White People Like blog)
c) "Um, yeah, I listen to the cheesy stuff. But I only do it ironically." (see correct definition of "irony")
d) "Screw y'all. I'm watching the Spandau Ballet reunion concert." (see below)


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You may think less of me, but you know where I stand. Spandau Ballet finally reunited for a tour after 20 years and a bitter lawsuit over royalties, and I'm so there. The band's profound significance can't easily be explained to someone who isn't a fan (I'm looking at you LLDD-Hyphen-L). Suffice to say back in the day, they were the band every gawky teenager wanted to be a part of. There are several reasons for this. First, they made the definitive 80's video, the one that stood the test of time and perfectly blended seductive song with feeling-pogi visuals. I'm talking of course, of the one, the only...True.

Haah Haah Haah Haaaaaaaaaaah Haah

Second, their look and sound wasn't over the top -- by 80's standards anyway. You could, for instance, actually wear their clothes to a soiree (on the other hand, try coming to one dressed as a member of Culture Club). Indeed, their whole "new romantic" image was perfectly safe viewing and listening, a soothing balance to the "radicalism" of the era.

Makibaka!

And last but not least . . .they kicked Duran Duran's eye-linered ass.

(oh s***, I went there).

Look, I was a Durannie too, but Spandau was plainly the better group. Consider: 1) Spandau's lead singer had far better pipes, the one voice every Kundirana wannabe coveted (Simon Le Bon's, on the other hand, was weak and heavily synthed); 2) Unlike Spandau, Duran Duran's songs didn't make any goddamn sense (Union of the Snake?!); and 3) Two words: saxophone solos.

(that last one's very imporant, as it allowed kids everywhere to learn a woodwind instrument without getting beat up; hell, he who could play the sax got all the girls back then [alas, the one guy in my high school who could play the saxophone was also deeply religuous, so none of us really benefitted])

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Now that we've established Spandau's superiority, allow me to give the uninformed (i.e. all of you) a little band briefer:

Tony Hadley, Lead Singer

Back in the day, looked like: Keanu Reeves

If he were a Department of Foreign Affairs office, he'd be: Office of the Secretary (frontman; larger than life; rocked the eveningwear)
Little known post break-up wikifact: "Hadley appeared, sang and gave advice in Pinoy Dream Academy (season 2), a singing reality show in the Philippines" (what the...how did I not know about this?!!)
Now looks like:

A constipated K.D. Lang.

Gary Kemp, Lead Guitar (and wrote all the band's songs)

Back in the day, looked like: Like someone who needed to be able to write songs to be allowed into a band

If he were a DFA office, he'd be: Administration (made the operation's day-to-day things work; controlled the money)
Little known post break-up wiki fact: "After recording Spandau Ballet's final album Heart Like a Sky, Kemp and his brother returned to acting. He won the contempt of his fellow band members" (heck, you would too if you saw him as Whitney Houston's manager in "The Bodyguard")
Now looks like:

Kinda like Jude Law, with a little Tony Blair thrown in. Not bad.

Steve Norman, Saxophone

Back in the day, looked like: a young David Beckham, down to the hair.
If he were a DFA office, he'd be: Policy (the soul and sexy of the group; the role every wide-eyed aspiring musician/FSO thought he wanted)
Little known post break-up wiki fact: no interesting entry, although he apparently settled in Ibiza after the split. (because that's what saxophone players do)
Now looks like:

That uncle from "Full House" who did Alanis Morrisette wrong. Saka nagpa-relax na ng buhok.

Martin Kemp, Bass Guitar (and brother of Gary)

Back in the day, looked like:a girl

If he were a DFA office, he'd be: Special Concerns (able to take on new challenges and shift roles effortlessly; lesser known at first, but more famous at the end)
Little known post break-up wiki fact: Not really his entry, but he played the lead villain in Embrace of the Vampire which, "released in 1994, many people criticized movie as an excuse for Alyssa Milano to shed her 'good girl' image; others rushed to see the movie because of that [citation needed]"
Now looks like:

The new James Bond (the Kemp brothers age well, no?)

John Keeble, Drums

Back in the day, looked like: Charlie Sheen, pre-Two and a Half Men (which, incidentally, had an episode where Charlie unequivocally declared "True" as having the sweetest saxophone solo of all time)
If he were a DFA office, he'd be: Migrant Workers Affairs (bread and butter/backbone of the organization)
Little known post break-up wiki fact: "He was called the 'Henry Kissinger of Pop' for the diplomatic way he brokered the comeback with the other band members." (I like this guy!) "He is married to 'Flea' " ( I REALLY like this guy!)
Now looks like:



Aiiiiiiiigh!!!! He's the diplomat?!?

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Class over. Haaah haaah haaah haaaaaaahn with the show.

With the LLDD-Hyphen-L's blessing*, I finally head off to the sold-out O2 arena (nee Millenium Dome) to watch the Spands.

(*"bahala ka" counts as a blessing, right?)

Concert attire, of course, was very much a concern. As it was a weeknight, I brought a change of clothes with me, but thought I should already wear my lighter-colored, less formal pang-concert socks together with my standard dark suit to the office. The result was either a fashion crime or 80s awesome. You decide.

My can of Aqua-Net was seized at the airport, so I was feeling a bit naked and vulnerable going in. Fortunately, I hadn't had a haircut in over a month, so I still got a nice little "pouf" goin' on. Jestonic, even.

And I make fun of Big 80's Hair now, but trust me, half of the - ahem - mature concert crowd would kill to still be able to wear a Flock of Seagulls 'do.

Spandau clothes! (spandex?) Anyone remember those Top-40 shirts, the ones that printed band album covers in the front? Anyone remember albums? Anyone?

Unlike the Ikaw Rin concert, my place here was way up the stadium and nowhere near the mosh pit. Come to think of it, there was no mosh pit for Spandau -- just rows and rows of reserved seats that reached right up to the stage, and hence no need to arrive hours early to fight for a spot up front. (which was just as well with this crowd, as any form of extended moshing [or for that matter, standing] would probably have resulted in a lot of broken hips)

Finally, the boys come out. There was a lot of noise to greet them, but whereas in Ikaw Rin the general feeling was one of screaming disbelief at the sheer awesomeness of it all, with Spandau there was more of a warm joy coming over everyone for having returned to such a happy place -- like waking up from a great nap (which, given the audience, was probably exactly what was happening)

The Spands thereafter rattle off a veritable Saturday night playlist of Mars/Euphoria/Faces disco (er, club): Only When you Leave, Round and Round, Through the Barricades, Highly Strung (which, of course, carries those immortal FSO lyrics "she used to be a diplomat, but now she's down the laundromat"). And goddamit, they sounded GOOD! Tony's voice was as booming as ever, the melodies still catchy as hell. And when the group broke out Lifeline, the crowd - mature as they were - poured into the aisles (above) and vigorously danced that go-to 80s hand clap/side-to-side two-step combo.

To bring things down a notch, Tony and Gary sang an acoustic version of How Many Lies. Gary introduced the bit by telling the crowd "who would have thought, after all these years, me and the Big Guy (Tony), sitting in a couple of chairs, face-to-face, again" -- an apparent reference to their acrimonious lawsuit against each other. Umm...we didn't need to hear that, Gary. Awkward, bro. Don't ruin this for us.

One thing that Duran Duran did have over Spandau -- frontman stage presence. Simon Le Bon could dominate a stage with his frenetic yet balletic dance moves. Tony, well....Tony would often point to the audience from his hip like a cheesy lounge singer, or worse, go into a half-squat like he really needed to go to the bathroom.

But it's all good, because the boys brought it home with the aforedescribed True, and started off their encore with Fight for Ourselves (although Be Free with Your Love would have been better, if only they asked me), and then (above) capped it with the most cheesetastik of them all . . . what the hell, let's all just sing it: ready, one, two, three...You...are...OLD!

I mean, GOLD!

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Good fun, good fun. I really hope they stick around this time. Anyway, I'm glad I was able to see them while I was here -- and while the LLDD-Hyphen-L was away. On her part, she's only too happy to have 80's concerts finally out of my system.

Nobody tell her.