I'M HIM

 City2Surf pre/postscripts:

* We received our race bibs in the mail about a week before the race, but they didn't come with any adhesives or instructions or anything, so I turned to Aus-internet for answers, and it did not disappoint

algorithm already knew my race outfit and everything

* Also not disappointing (in fact, downright scary) was the official race photographer's facial recognition software which, just from a basic phone selfie submitted after the run, was able to pick out the photos with me from out of the hundreds of thousands taken during the race -- including those where my face was obscured and my bib number not even visible but obviously the A.I. was still able to piece together it was me based on the athletic body type in front 

so similar...you can see how the computers can make mistake me for others

* And Betoota, of course, knew well in advance how my race bros and I roll

so, so Him

CITY SLICKER SURFER DUDES

City2Surf is Australia's largest fun run attracting over 70,000 "runners" who make their way from Sydney's CBD up through its posh hilly coastal suburbs and all the way down to world-famous Bondi Beach -- a "fun" 14 kms in all. The LLDD-Hyphen-L and I joined this year's edition on a whim with no real special preparation just our existing "fitness" levels I'm sure it'll go "well" because really it's all about the charity and having a good time and not making good time, RIGHT SWEETIE?!

This is just an exhibition. This is not a competition.  

Please...no wagering.

Fun run or not, the LLDD-Hyphen-L smoked my time pero naisip ko lang lahat humahanga sa "follow me" influencers paano na lang yung mga taga-kuha nila ng picture OH WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE ALALAY PHOTOGRAPHERS

(hindi ko lang talaga siya ma-overtake)

Happy and humbled, Husband will move on to another sport he can actually win, like competitive hot dog eating. Or Gardenscapes.

THE LLDD-HYPHEN-L LOOKS AT LETHARGIC LOCKDOWN LANDSCAPE, DECIDES "THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO BECOME A CERTIFIED PILATES INSTRUCTOR"

The ensuing training montage:

Buys second-hand reformer and sets up makeshift online classroom

(shout out LLDD-Baby's end-the-violins stand)

Trains daily 

(holds gun-show nightly)

Impresses practical examiners by showing teaching mastery over lamest, doughiest, most uncoordinated student available

(bitchin' Depeche Mode and Smiths needle drops student's idea, obvs)

Preaches proper nutrition/punishes student for 80s workout jam by quarantining doughnuts  hidden around house

(d'oh!)

Crushes finals, gets own studio sessions, ready to rock re-opening 

I'd define you as awesome

WAIT FOR (F)IT.....

In a show of strength (har!), our local gym made a hype video... 

...that showcased its healthy, hygenic, hi-tech Gattaca-like facilities... 

...its badass coaches...

...its fittest hottest clients...

...and...

...for some reason...

(wait for it)

...this guy 

later quarantined after testing positive for gravy

I TRI'D, I REALLY TRI'D

Big news from the Activewear movement.... 

It's like my Wonder Woman 1984 viewing came sooner and up closer than y'all.  She smoked me by six minutes / 900 meters like it was  nothing.  Authentic Amazona ang peg.  Stronger.  Faster.  Hotter.  💪😍

(i will return and be avenged)

(at the pasta buffet table)

that, wall, is your opinion

GYM'S BACK!

LLDD-Hyphen-L's Back!!

Increasingly Complex and Elaborate Activewear Backs, Back!!!

Keep on Coming, Backs!!!! (updating)

(pssst don't forget leg day)

TO HELL YEAH AND BACK!!!