EPISODE IV: A NEW HOP

 Andor's foreshadowing, of course, was spot on 

Sydney! They were placed in Sydney, Mon Mothma! We just received them at the airport!

As you can see, we made sure to blow their cover/cloaking device. But why are they here, and why now?  I mean, yeah, we had some work done on the Residence and Chancery, but everything there was properly planned, programmed and documented, as were all other operations during this AHOP's stint.  

And yes, this audit was actually routinely scheduled a long time ago in a home office far, far away and only postponed because of lockdown. Still, it is clear to this overdramatic fanboy what needs to be done in his own fanfiction saga 

First, as the good Chandrilan Senator herself would do, we must welcome the finance people to a big official function -- in this case this year's Paskombalong...

...where perhaps the audit team could be distracted into investigating how the Consulate's ragtag group of singers placed second in the choir competition

(and while they're at it, they should inspect this Paskombalong visitor's barong usage, amirite?)

Second, and more importantly, I must cede all power, authority and responsibility to some other party, say....the Consulate's NEW HEAD OF POST

While the new Consul General's appointment was known in advance, her actual arrival gate was not - nagulat na lang kami na nasa likod na namin siya sa airport. Anyway, we made sure that one of the first things scheduled for the new HOP right after her touchdown was a meet-and-brief with the audit team where she could face their findings (never more than 12) and front the Consulate's response.  

Happy to say in the end, scanners detected no renegade activity. We run a tight starship here, ma'am.  

So my one way out of audit and AHOP was navigated properly, and I now give up all trappings of the position.  S'all good, because the experience was invaluable, the service was the reward, and this overdramatic fanboy gets to put on in the end the coldest, hardest bars in the history of Star Wars: WHAT DID MOI SACRIFICE

Great Acting!  Abangan na lang ang next episode =)

THE ALTERNATE COMIC AND DIPLOMACY UNIVERSES ARE COLLIDING AND I'M NOT READY

It's just as well that I'm posted abroad right now because I don't think I'd be able to handle the Home Office's recent forum. 

*crosses arms across chest*

*thumps arms on chest. yells.*

*'WALANG FOREVER'*

I'll just wait for the dvd. 

Meanwhile, our protocol office better get on the ball because a visiting HOS* is waiting at a diplomatic lane.

(* Head of Sushi)

Wait, under the Vienna Convention a HOS shouldn't have to be subjected to inspection like this only someone who's not really the sovereign yet ohmygod i think i figured out and spoiled the plot of aquaman

I CONTINUE TO GET SCHOOLED

Happy to have made a quick trip back to Manila to attend the Department's continuing education program for its diplo-lawyers -- my first (and so far only) return to the mother ship since my Sydney posting. So many updates! So many things discovered! To wit:

* do a trip advisor search for hotels to stay at near the home office, and you won't be disappointed in the range of results    

 this is what happens when you use "rating", "distance" and "masarap raw ang pansit" as your search filters   

*  the home office lobby now has sleek flat-screen monitors and cool hotel lighting

 trip advisor, take note

* there're more batchmates still at the home office than I thought

 as batchmate ALIAS DEMON ANUS (center) said, "every now and then, we need more than one car to go for a batch dinner" 

* hey, speaking of dinner, the construction at the corner lot next to the home office turned out to be...a premium steak restaurant! 

 for a while there we thought it would be another Ms. Universal, or something that would show up in trip advisor filters

* batchmate ABHORRENT ROTTEN ODD ASS (center) has left the foreign service but remains most helpful to it.

 our little boy is now all grown up and lecturing senior diplomats on the law of the sea

*  it's the return of my doppelganger "Cat" and, how shall we put this...he used to be my body-double; now he's double my body 

 and yet everyone at the home office still confused the two of us!  

* IBP now has merch

 but no swag

* my first-half of seminar seatmate - who happened to also be my seatmate during the last FSO oral exams (and went on to be batch topnotcher) - is so high midi-chlorian talented I found her casually doodling portraits during lectures 

 impressive...most impresive

* as for my second-half of seminar seatmate...sigh

more like sithmate, amirite?

GREAT MOMENTS IN TREATY SIGNING REPLICA PHOTOGRAPHS

The Department recently put up on display in its lobby a gorgeous looking painting... 

As explained by the plaque:

I remember this same image was prominently featured during the last ASEAN meetings Closing Ceremonies, fading into the giant screens as inspiring orchestra music swelled all around. It's just a flat-out cool depiction of a momentous event in international history and diplomacy.

Also recently...

 um...explain?

Ok, cool.

WE ARE HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS STAR WARS APP

I was fighting back tears when the LLDD-Baby recently tore through a nearby Toys-R-Us and came back clutching a Rey action figure. After years of buying her stuffed animals, tubs of play-doh and merch of sassy British pig children, I finally got to get her something that would actually develop her high midi-chlorian count!

she had always Forced-choked at a higher age level 

As a bonus, the Rey packaging came with a free app that could shoot some classic Star Wars scenes!

Well, then...

EXECUTE ORDER 66!

Damn Stormtroopers still can't hit squat

nakuha sila sa Force-tingin

Not the first time the LLDD-Baby's been mistaken for a Jawa

yet more acting range than Hayden Christiansen

The AT-AT on AT-AT violence must end

my memos!

Stop that droid! It has the Map!

of the West Philippine Se...I mean to Luke, it has the map to Luke!

Security drills for Ministerial Meetings don't mess around

haay, nagpa-traffic na naman kayong Deathtroopers

The probability of ASEAN Integration holding beyond 2020

it's high, very high

SM Developers didn't know of Mall of Asia's small thermal exhaust port

yeee-haaaa!

Well, the re-construction of Scarif didn't last long, did it? 

what do you Imperials have against MMDA pumping stations?

I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.  

even the ulam

Noooooo!!!! Not the Department's front lobby pond turtles!!!

do they look like Mon Calamari to you!?!

Hey LLDD-baby! They're saying Leia isn't a Disney princess! What you think about that?

yeah, that's what I thought

They laughed when we said we should build a canopy around the Department's brutalist building

oh, they laughed

I find your lack of 30 minutes after eating before swimming...disturbing

leg cramps? more like head crash, amirite?

Lord Vader, our blasters can't penetrate the giant oily deflector shield

Impressive

YOU SHALL NOT PASS(PORT)

It's been a pretty bad stretch of press for our counterparts at the British passport and airport offices. First, they faced a backlog of applications so ginormous there were high profile Parliamentary charges, apologies and investigations.

The initial findings    

This was followed by a series of stories of people who mistakenly grabbed and used someone else's passport, and went on to be totally not chill about it

The internet reacted with its usual objectivity

So what do you do when you're faced with such bad publicity?  You go on strike of course!

Which went over well

To this point, I had some empathy for the passport and airport workers -- heaven knows it can be a hard and thankless job. However, recent incidents left me more conflicted...on a very personal level

Good thing I didn't include the LLDD-baby's "Ma. Leia Organa" second name in her British birth certificate  

I needed to consult "certain" foreign office colleagues on such a landmark issue.  The consensus:  as much as we would like to support the rebellion and its travel plans, as civil servants we are duty bound to follow the express provisions of the passport law, i.e., "in case of a discrepancy between the applicant's name in the birth certificate and in any other private documents, the former shall prevail over the latter..."

...BUT without prejudice to waving a hand and stating under oath: 'You do not need to see my identification' ".