IT'S TUESDAY, I MUST BE IN HA NOI

Gooooooooooood Morning, Vietnam!!!

(I never said I was original)

A lot of cities claim to have a certain “vibe”, when they really don’t; or call themselves “charming” or “bustling”, even though they’re actually dull and dreary. Ha Noi is one place I can confidently say is LEGITIMATELY vibrant, with loads of charm to spare, and has lots and lots of…um…bustle.

Filipinos will also feel a certain kinship with the Vietnamese, maybe more so than with any other group. Both see virtue in service, helping others, and a job well done; both seem to live for their weekends and night outs; and neither is ever, EVER, stingy with their smiles (on the other hand, both also take LOADS of liberties with traffic rules, such as counterflow-on-demand and insta-freeway sidewalks).

PLACE KINDA REMINDS ME OF: part Bacolod, part Tomas Morato, part downtown Cebu, with a little bit of Malate, Padre Faura and T.M. Kalaw thrown in.

THE CITY / PEOPLE - I’m told the city follows the European style, south of France even. Whatever it is, it works. And I have to say that the Ha Noi ladies are, on a per capita basis, the prettiest I’ve seen so far in my travels. And yes, the LLDDL knows.


Typical Ha Noi streetscape. Tall, narrow houses all over.


Also, lots of trees and colonial buildings. Very quaint.

There are staircases, and there are dizzying National Convention Center STAIRCASES.

Holy photo op!

An unexpected sight: overflowing churches on Sunday. What the picture doesn't capture is the outdoor crowd seated on their motorbikes jammed right up to the church doors, like it was a drive-in theatre or something.

The LLDD wins "Most Congenial Delegate"

Sign as you enter the airport. Don't know what it's selling, but any shop that combines "well-being" and "natural latex" in its signage deserves our support.

THE SHOPS-Rows upon rows upon rows of them at street level. Mostly single proprietorship deals, with hardly a franchise in sight (except for several Nokia stores; they’ll rule the world someday, I tell you).

Night market in Han Gang(?) shopping district. I found it interesting that a lot of shops’ commerce were driven by sales of images of Ho Chi Minh, the Vietnamese star, and the Hammer and Sickle. There’s a profound, ironic statement to be made there by someone smart and articulate. I am not that person.

Shop where the Phildel did most of its buying ("Trade Missions", we call it).

The absolute hottest wasabi-type sauce I have ever tasted in my life. I was like, DAMN!

THE ART-Many hotels and restaurants I’ve been to (even the high-quality ones) have artworks that are, well, shall we say, a stroke away from dogs-playing-poker. In Ha Noi, however, EVERY place had these great pieces that I’d end up staring at or wanting for my apartment. And they were all distinctively Vietnamese/Asian without having to resort to clichés like villagers-planting-rice. I don’t know much about art, but I know I like their work.

Some samples. Remember, these aren't even museum pieces. Just hotel and restaurant stuff.

Great art looks even better when you're slightly smashed


Just a magnificent work of art (and the painting ain't too bad either hahahahahaha)


THOSE MOTORBIKES – Perhaps Ha Noi’s most distinguishing feature. At once fascinating and frightening to foreigners. From high above, they look like hyperactive ants; from street level and coming towards you, it’s like staring up into raindrops during a cloudburst; at twilight with their headlights on, they’re like the Sentinels pouring into Zion.

I wondered how having individual motorbikes would affect social interaction and all that. Apparently, the Vietnamese just do everything we would do, only on motorbikes. So you would still see several barkadas feverishly gossipping even while riding separately, families going to restaurants in bike clusters, business and party people dressed in high fashion scooting along to their next big event. There are even stories of riders balancing at least four pigs vertically on the back of a bike (now THAT I would pay to see!)


I'm from Manila - so a veteran of street-crossing and jaywalking - but nothing has challenged me as much as trying to get across a Ha Noi street on foot. And yet the local bikers just zip around each pedestrian with hardly an incident (which is good because no one wears a helmet).


Even though cars are uncommon, traffic jams still occur. Here, the LLDD gets stuck for close to 20 minutes as the US President's motorcade rolls by. (HIM again!)


The bikes DO look cool at night

IT'S MONDAY, I MUST BE IN NANNING

Finally. The site of the of the big event. The city is like...um.... The summit was very...er.... The whole thing reminded me of...that...thing...you know... where everyone....does something...

(damn. i got nothing. i really should write down notes when i'm at a place)

One thing that DID stick to my mind was the great cultural show. We've all seen Chinese acrobats or performers some time or another, and you'd think by now there's no more "wow" to be had, but you'd be dead wrong. The tricks have become more amazing (especially up close), and they've actually worked in some pretty cool music and sexy moves into their routines. For this show, they also subtly blurred some ASEAN features into the Chinese performances. Very slick.

The highlight (to me) of this ASEAN-China lovefest was when they got 10 ASEAN musicians - one from each country - a had them successively perform a short piece from their homeland using an instrument that was supposed to be indigenous and/or exotic. It was obviously meant to showcase the richness and diversity of ASEAN cultures, especially since each performer was supposed to be fully decked in native garb. So when it's the Philippines' turn, out comes....an unkempt...Heber Bartolome! Playing an...ordinary guitar! Wearing what appears to be...white pajamas!

I still have to figure out how the guitar and pajamas uniquely relate to the Philippines, but DAMN if he wasn't the coolest guy there!

PLACE KINDA REMINDS OF: Valley Golf Club, if they built condos around it



multilateralism goes horribly wrong


media matters


ASEAN and Chinese performers pay homage to a ...um... really big cookie


a really big cookie of prosperity!!!!


I gotta admit. Nanning airport employees dress really well.

IT'S SUNDAY, I MUST BE IN GUILIN

Ah, Guilin. Beautiful, beautiful place. Subject of all those Chinese silk streamers and paintings you see so much in oriental art books and all-night take-out menus.

As the official tourist brochure said, "the mountains erect like green jade towers."

OK.

Potentially a NFW moment, but the fog/haze somewhat muted the colors, and we spent a lot of our time inside our ferry, working away on our laptops. Sigh.

The mountains themselves weren't connected to each other as ranges. They were more like thousands of individual shards of glass forcefully jabbed into the earth in a protective arrangement. Think the top of those perimeter walls you sometimes see around Philippine middle class houses.

Strangely, as gorgeous as the scenery was, the faces of the tourists REALLY lit up at the end of the trip when we docked and were greeted by miles and miles of stores and shopping.

PLACE KINDA REMINDS ME OF - The place where we docked is like a much bigger and more organized Benguet. The river itself, of course, is straight out of the Lord of the Rings media guide.

hmmm...wonder if there's anything to see around here...maybe if i turn around...


oh, man...ther're nothing but dudes on this cruise...


The great Republic of Tandang Sora - Kingdom of Binondo bilaterals of '06

The delegation was split into two: the working boat, and the party boat. That's the party boat.

There were so many mountains behind mountains that it gave the illusion of a double exposure photograph


Next stop....Mordor!!!

IT'S SATURDAY, I MUST BE IN NANCHANG

Second stop on our tour. We didn't stay very long, so it was hard to get a feel for the place. I will say that either Nanchang's population is generally very young, or everyone who's over 21 stayed home to watch "Matlock" while we we there.


A very friendly airport reception. You'll see why in a moment.



Our hotel. The red streamer in front (and all the other streamers all over the city) read "Warmly Welcome Her Excellency to Stay With Us". There you go.


View from our hotel. There wasn't a lot of people or activity near us, probably because they blocked off a large area. Or maybe just because the other side of the river was really the fun side.

IT'S FRIDAY, I MUST BE IN XIAMEN

Greetings from China! (or, as the LLDDL would say, "Big shout out from all my cousins!")

Hectic, hopscotch itinerary this visit. There would've been serious culture shock, but someone smart thought of making two Shoemarts and one perfect Rizal monument replica part of the first leg of the trip. Throw in some loud vendors in a Divisoria-like night market (above), and you'd swear the DFA was just a jeepney ride away.

All the cities we passed through were up-and-comers, showing signs of rapid transition from rural past to modern present. You always start from a remote airport, take a new expressway through some farmlands, get lulled by some modest buildings and housing en route, then, without so much as a highway off-ramp, you find your road has cut through the city center. and you're now completely surrounded on all sides by high-rises, condos and convention centers. Seriously, you feel like an entire large city had tiptoed behind your car, tapped on the window, then yelled "SURPRISE!".

And know this about Chinese cities...whether its on their buildings, their bridges or their road railings: they sure love their multicolored neon trimming.

(just a quick irrelevant aside: you know that "Friends" episode where Joey gets all excited because he finds his perfect hand double? Well, I was walking through some room in our Xiamen hotel when I saw this whiteboard (above) that had MY PERFECT HANDWRITING DOUBLE. As in, I literally tried to remember if I wrote the thing on the board myself, or if I sleep-wrote or something. Let me tell you, finding your perfect handwriting double is NOT exciting. It's disturbing. I'm still not over it)

IT'S MONDAY, I MUST BE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Ah, yes, Washington D.C. My old stomping grounds. The Most Powerful City in the World. Their Nation's Capital.

I can't quite say D.C. was just as I had remebered it, because it was a totally different experience for me this time. When I was last here, I spent most of my time at the campuses on the fringes of the city, attended late afternoon-to-evening classes, travelled underground, ate nothing but fastfood, and shopped only at dirt cheap stores.

This time, I stayed at a fancy hotel, attended working-hour meetings, travelled through downtown at street level, ate at nice restaurants, and shopped only at dirt cheap stores.

The one thing that did change noticeably was my school. Since I graduated, they've put up this huge, gleaming, state-of-the-art sports and fitness center right next to the main school building. I feel so cheated. When I was last in Washington, I had to make do with my apartment building's bare bones gym and always had to give way to these Pentagon super-soldier types whenever they wanted to use the equipment. I would've loved to have worked-out at school instead with fellow weak, doughy law students. I would've looked ripped by comparison. Life's not fair.

Sitting in the same train car with...um...sorta greatness - On the train ride from New York to Washington (BTW, this was my first train ride ever between NY-DC; it used to be nothing but Greyhound bus rides for me, where I got to meet a lot of "fun" characters), we discover that Mig Ayesa - he of 2nd runner-up Rockstar:Inxs fame - is just a couple of booths away from us. We think about having our picture taken with him, but then decide there's just no cool, manly way for three guys to ask Mig Ayesa to have their picture taken with him.


Artsy shot of my hotel. Now THIS is what I expected a diplomats' hotel would look like. Old world classy. Not a mirrored ceiling in sight.


What I look like when I wake up in the morning


Iwo Jima memorial. This area had always been one of my favorites. Nice views, wide spaces, close to the river jogging paths, and has the only sushi buffet in Washington that I know of.


The Philippine what now?!


Tip for future Washington tourists: the best panoramic view of the city can be found at the Netherlands Carillon. The Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Memorial and the Capitol are all perfectly lined up, and you can see parts of the river and the Jefferson Memorial. Plus, it's a stone's throw away from the Iwo Jima memorial, there's a nice flower garden at the base, you can go up the Carillon and listen to the classics, and, as you can see, it's a great place to nap.

Value-for-money shot: Lincoln Memorial, Washington Memorial, The Capitol, Washington Bridge and a little of the Potomac, all in one photo. Hazy, but cheap.

Union Station. For my money, the most beautiful train station in the country. So pretty almost all movies and t.v. shows that have a Washington setting shoot here (see scene in Hannibal where they try to tail Lecter and Carisse ends up being kidnapped. I actually saw the shooting of that scence)


The alma mater. Many ask what a Hoya is. I understand it's from a Latin chant Hoya Saxa that means "What Rocks". You gotta love a school that's proud of its rocks.

IT'S SATURDAY, I MUST BE IN...HOLY CRAP, I'M AT THE U.N.!!!

The LLDD has always felt he had a Forrest Gump-like knack about him. That is to say, I often seem to accidentally back into places and events that are far more significant than anything I've deliberately been a part of. One day I'm drafting a simple legal opinion, next day I'm whisked off to Congressional hearings on the subject and made to speak like an authority. That sort of thing has happened to me over and over during my career.

(Alas, "Forrest" never seems to happen for anything cool or showbiz-y. No calling card of mine, for instance, has accidentally made its way to a MTV talent scout. I'm also still waiting for a Maxim model to approach me and say that she's chanced upon my office memos and find they "speak to her")

Anyway, I'm minding my own business, pushing papers, stirring coffee, looking forward to stinking up the Department basketball league, when all of a sudden - through a series of events TOTALLY out of my control and comprehension - I'm told out of the blue: "You're going to the U.N.!"

"Avenue?"

"General Assembly"

Gumped again!

In the same line with greatness - JFK airport apparently doesn't have diplomat lanes, so I stand in line for nearly an hour upon arrival with everyone. This is cool with me because also stuck in my line are members of Miami FC including...Romario!!! His hair is graying, but he still has a dignified, thoroughbred air about him. In contrast, the rest of the non-American players have the "I'm-glad-I'm-playing-in-the-U.S.-and-all-that-but-really-a-better-agent-should-have-been-able-to-get-me-a-reserve-squad-gig-in-Europe" look. In contrast contrast, the U.S. players have a "the-longer-I-play-the-longer-I-can-put-off-getting-that-job-in-sales" demeanor.

Remember, Siegfried and Roy are citizens of the world too - the hotel where we stayed is the closest to the U.N.; directly in front and right across the street, in fact. It's apparently a favorite among diplomats. So with around 200 nations and the entire world history to choose from, it is quite interesting that the hotel selected an early las vegas motif. I'm talking black marble, gold sidings, wall-to-wall-to-ceiling mirrors...Vegas, baby!

Foreign policy manifestation, or just diplomats getting cold. You decide - On the first day of the General Assembly, the diplomats descend on the First Avenue entrance gate en masse, only to be logjammed at the corner crossing for about 15 minutes as the U.S. President's motorcade passes through. At the exact moment that the guy next to me points to something across the street, the President's car passes across, and he apparently thinks the pointing is at him. He takes this as a cue to wave at all of us vigorously. As far as I could tell from where I was standing, none of the diplomats stuck at the corner return the wave.

Oh, the hUmaNity - Some of you might think that all U.N. diplomats are unflappable, uber-dignified, cool-as-ice figures who never make mistakes. I can tell you, however, that there are many who are just like you and me and who are all too human. Some examples:

• cellphones do go off accidentally during U.N. meetings, with some of the loudest and most embarrassing ringtones.

• yes, delegates from all over the world pose for pictures on the general assembly floor, even while speeches are ongoing. Hindi lang Pinoy ang mahilig sa "picture-picture"

• some of the funniest sights at the U.N. are when whole delegations wander aimlessly through mazes of hallways and cubicles looking for the venue of their meetings. A group from a European country, for instance, walked into a room where an Asian forum was in full swing, and both sides stared at the other in bewilderment. Sometimes two lost delegations bump into one another, ask a few questions, then walk away in opposite directions, still lost (just like those scenes in the original "Poseidon Adventure")

Place kinda reminds me of - New York is like the cover of a SimCity box. The U.N. somehow reminds of the CCP because of the 60-70's feel to the building. Retro, not quite dated.

If I had a dime for every time I overheard a diplomat talk about where Nicole Kidman shot "The Interpreter"...


View from my hotel window. I've come a long way from when I used to go to New York and stay at cheap backpacker hostels (on the other hand, those places had common, co-ed bedrooms and bathrooms; those were fun)


Our Mission...should we decide to accept it...


It sounds corny, but the sight of the Mission's flag from far down 5th Avenue is actually pretty inspiring (and the great deli to the left also helps)

First Avenue street fair. Love the t-shirt.

Central Park. Still New York's great redeeming feature

(although still home to some dorky dancing)


My hotel's elevator. If Wayne Newton ever becomes U.N. Sec. Gen., he'd stay in this place

Tavern-on-the-Green. Very nice central dining area, but rest of the restaurant as gaudy as my hotel. They apparently really like their mirrored walls and hallways in New York.

Diplomats swoosh by one of the many artworks scattered in the U.N. The Philippines had several smaller paintings throughout the building. Someone should make a coffee-table book about them.

The LLDD has arrived


The LLDD loved his Mr. Spock earpiece. It got at least six different languages (yet, sadly, no Howard Stern)

A cute UN tradition. While someone addresses the General Assembly, admirers and well-wishers from all over the world line up backstage, then greet the speaker after the speech. Bonus: I get to work the velvet rope! ("I don't care if you're the Chancellor of Elbonia, you're not getting in if you're not on the list. And no, I don't believe you came in with Angelina Jolie")

One of those "Only-in-the-U.N." moments: I'm standing in a hallway minding my own business when, right in front of me, the President of Iran and his posse bump into the PM of Malaysia and his posse. Instant photo-op.

Another nice "Only-in-the-U.N." scene: diplomats from all over the world crowd a little cafe inside the U.N. Dozens of nationalities, languages, races and religions share the same tables, order from the same food display, and drink from the same coffee maker. Strangely reminiscent of the cantina scene in Star Wars.

All we needed, really