HOYAS DESTROYA!

...actually, it was more like Phew ! Double Phew ! And, Phew-tang ina, muntik na 'yon!

I'm concerned about OSU. If Oden gets agressive, Hibbert's gonna get in foul trouble early, and I really like saying "Hibbert" in my Ernie-of-Sesame-Street-calling-his-life-partner voice (hey-brr-t! hey-brr-t!)

So we need all the moral support we can get. Just screaming down M Street won't cut it. And one male cheerleader is one too many.

Georgetown School of Foreign Service alum and future DD Tiffany of the Washington Redskin Cheerleaders, I choose you!

BTW, you've heard how cheerleaders are, like, just barbie dolls?


(i'm gonna have to get the LLDDL one of those uniforms for...um...the game...yeah, the game)

HOW MANY DIPLOMATS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB...?

... just one, but there'll be 28 outcome documents about it.

(ba-da-bing!)

Thank you, I'm here all week.

Actually, I might be here all year. My foreign travel cold-streak continues, and it looks to go on for quite a while. Fortunately, the big diplo-events seem to be headed over here: there was the ASEAN Summit, of course. And just recently concluded, the 1st Policy Consultations with Heads of Post, or P-CHOP for short.

(there was actually a conscious effort to call it Pol-Con instead, but people just liked saying P-CHOP out loud. Try it. P-CHOP! P-PCHOP! P-CHOP!)

(strange...suddenly, I'm very hungry)

Anyhoo, 70 of the country's ambassadors and consuls general from around the world gathered in one place for the first time ever. It was a grand alumni homecoming of sorts, only everyone came back as a success story. I mean, when you pre-print the name tags "Hi! I'm His/Her Excellency ___________ ", you don't expect to find any Romys or Michelles at the place.

So that leaves yours truly to bottom-feed at the event as a rapporteur (french for stenograph- er). This is actually much harder than it looks, because everyone had A LOT to say, each talk spawned at least five different forms of reports, and I don't have any touch-typing skills at all. Fortunately, there was a battery of batchmates and other junior DD's over there, sleek laptops in tow, who helped me out with everything from transcribing to choosing the right dinner fork.

Some random observations:

• I don't know if this is a fair comparison - given that P-CHOP involved top-tier government officials - but meetings of DD's absolutely kill meetings of LL's. I've been to many lawyer conferences, and the speakers usually sound like boring, pompous professors (as in fact, many of them are), the audience talks and leaves in the middle of speeches, and the open fora - oh, man. Every person comes up to the mike looking to promote himself rather than make a point. They drone on and on, keep looking left and right for validation, and constantly quarrel over who has the floor (one time, I saw an entire 30-minute question-and-answer session taken over by panyeros stepping over each other just to add lines to an already lame joke about a horse). On the other hand, the P-CHOP lectures were generally direct and concise (note to event organizers worldwide: get multiple speakers to talk for no more than 15 minutes each rather than have one speaker talk for more than an hour; the time limit creates a sense of urgency, like a coach entering a quarter down by double digits), the audience was quiet and attentive, and the open fora was refreshingly orderly and informative. Somehow, there was a good matching between what was being said and what needed to be heard (the only exception was one speaker who was feeling himself a little too much; his time was already up, but he had only just begun to recount how he singlehandedly saved the world).

• There was a disconnect at P-CHOP between how we DD's saw things and how some media reported them (the thing about the news report - which was printed as the large font banner headline, by the way - I thought the ambassador who brought up the subject did so as a straightforward request, or as a wish list at worst, rather than as a complaint or rant; anyway, I didn't see any more reporters let in at the meeting after that).

• Call me biased or unqualified, but I'm beginning to think that Manila has the best hotel buffets in the world. The variety alone is superior - not just at any given meal, but also from day to day. And whoever thought of setting up an omellette and a crepe station separately needs to be fast-tracked for sainthood.

HO-YA SA-XA! HO-YA LAW-YA!

In honor of the LLDD’s beloved Hoyas winning the Big East for the first time since A.I. and the Junkyard Dog modeled deodorant (above), and the team being picked by Sports Guy to reach the 2007 NCAA finals, I devote this low-posting to everything Georgetown.

• Georgetown is actually celebrating 100 Years of Hoya Basketball. You can easily recognize some of the more famous ex-Hoya big men ballers: Patrick Ewing, Alonzo Mourning, Dikembe Mutombo, Henry Hyde … Yep, Henry “Clinton Impeachment” Hyde. He was apparently into some serious double dribbling.

• Sadly, the LLDD attended Georgetown just before the Hoyas’ resurgence, when they played their home games before a 90% empty MCI Center, their best player was Jahidi "Heidi Heidi High" White, and were coached by Georgetown law alum Atty. Craig Esherick (when asked one time about some trash talking by rival Maryland, Esherick replied, “I know they're not talking about law schools”; his high academic standards vis-à-vis his coaching record made a sportswriter quip, "If the goal is to graduate players, and it's a fine goal, put an English professor in charge of the team because he can graduate players and lose to Virginia Tech twice, too").

• Georgetown students seem to have a lot of time on their hands making slick school videos and twitting their college rivals.

(what the...? Georgetown alums Sara of America's Next Top Model and R & B Singer Amerie . . . How did these get in here?)

• I’m still depressed that Georgetown Law’s huge Fitness Center was built right after I graduated. I mean, come on, Shea Butter Melt massages on campus?! (and can you imagine if I returned home with a Master’s degree and ripped abs? Hoya Saxa? Try Hoya Sexy!)

• The gorgeous Georgetown neighborhood would be more dear to me if I actually studied or lived there. Unfortunately, I stayed in a not-quite-upscale part of Arlington, and the law school was on the other side of Downtown D.C. On the other hand, there were no Metro stops in Georgetown, and I would have missed out on the sights and sounds of the D.C. subway system (actually, the D.C. Metro is very safe, but sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands over there [especially when these guys are guarding Georgetown!])

• Who knew? Filipinos represent at G-Town! Hip-hop meets tinikling! (when I was there, my only cultural contribution was bringing choc-nut to one of the parties)
  

SEEING DOUBLE-D

The first whispers came during cadetship. One of our handlers said I reminded her of a previous cadet. Then another handler said the same thing. Then another. And another.

I shrugged it off. Made the same "ang swerte naman n'ya" jokes over and over. After all, I've reminded people of other people before, from the star of the Buffy spin-off "Angel" (according to the LLDDL, when she's in a generous mood), to the comics' Archie Andrews (according to a law school classmate; I don't get that one either).

Still, I was intrigued. He was pointed out to me from afar, and I guess he had some resemblance to me in terms of height (above average), build (chiseled), eyes (needs glasses, but piercing underneath) and skin tone (sensually white, creamy). I also found out my purported look-alike - who I shall refer to as "Cat" - was himself a lawyer and a diplomat. Another LLDD! Oh, he was really on my turf now!

And then it started happening. More and more people didn't just think I looked like "Cat", they actually thought I was "Cat"! I'd walk into an office and a Senior Official would discuss with me details of a meeting that I never attended (but that "Cat" did). A new cadet would congratulate me for my upcoming foreign posting, when I'm nowhere near eligible (but "Cat" is). A batchmate of mine - who was carpooling with me and had just stepped down from my car - literally did a double take when she saw "Cat" drive up in the parking lot; her perplexed face was somewhere between "why'd the LLDD switch cars?" and "what the f...?"

Turns out, "Cat" was having the same problems. After I returned from China, someone greeted welcome back...to "Cat". Another new cadet engaged "Cat" in an extended conversation in the elevator, all the while calling him by my name.

So we really have a situation here. I could take the low road and just kill off my replicant, ala "The Prestige"... or ... I could take the lower road and assume "Cat's" identity, take his foreign posting, and fly off to a faraway place for a couple of years, ala "Gattaca".

You know what . . . I always liked Uma Thurman. So could I pull it off? Judge for yourself. Here's the only known picture of "Cat" and me in the same room at the same time.

"Cat's" the one on the left.

Or is he?

Bonus Double-D! During the Cebu Summit, I couldn't get over how one of the foreign delegates looked exactly like the LLDDL's youngest sister. Here's the LLDDL's sister below:

And here's a picture I took of the delegate at the summit:

I hope the delegate someday stumbles on this blog, just so she knows I wasn't stalking her around Cebu

It was "Cat"