THE LLDD-HYPHEN-L DOES LONDON

As some of you may have figured out from: a) my Ikaw Rin arms-length self-portraits; b) mountain of post-sports tournament laundry; and c) ability to attend comic-con -- the LLDD-Hyphen-L is not with me in London right now. She had to go back to Manila to finish some Moira MacTaggert-esque research involving meat (you think I'm kidding). Nonetheless, in her relatively short time here, she was able to clearly establish our married way of life at post: I work, she visits castles/rubs elbows with royalty/shops.

I'm kidding. Of course it's not always like that. Sometimes she makes me leave work to help her shop.

(kidding! kidding!)

Anyway, here are some pictures she took while travelling to some of London's most interesting spots. (while I was back at the office putting tabs on reports and reloading the photocopier)

HAMPTON COURT

The LLDD-Hyphen-L joined the ASEAN ladies group in visiting the home of Henry VIII. You would think his marriage history would give the LLDD-Hyphen-L pause, but nooooooo. She was more like "subukan mo lang".

It's immediately apparent from the LLDD-Hyphen-L's pictures that the real beauty of Hampton Court lies in the exquisite details: the obvious attention and creativity bestowed upon every fine feature, line, and design element . . .

. . . and that's just the tour guide's 'stache!!

(holy victoria, that thing is sweet!)

That's one horny room

Hampton Court's grounds and gardens look no less impressive and meticulously maintained. If only Hershey's sponsored a day and wrapped all the trees and bushes in silver to make them look like giant chocolate kisses, then we'd REALLY have something!

The LLDD-Hyphen-L couldn't wait to take on Hampton Court's world-famous garden maze. She said it wasn't so hard and completed the thing in record time.

I have my doubts.

And right before the ASEAN ladies leave, the "Man" makes an appearance. Hala ka, sweetie, nandyan na si King! Bakit ka raw nandaya sa maze!

WORLD MARKET

Hey, just like back home. All the resident missions get together under one roof and sell their country's finest at a bazaar. Kulang na lang pa-raffle saka watchyourcar. Just try to keep the LLDD-Hyphen-L away from a place like this. Just try.

The Philippines, as always at events like these, came strong and straight-up represented. When royalty arrived (middle photo), she headed straight for our wares. Fortunately, the LLDD-Hyphen-L acted like a true, responsible, professionally-trained shopper and didn't go on a purse-to-purse buying spree against the royal. (Thank God!)

No, she was happy and content just to find these rings for pasalubong that cost five-times as much if she bought them in Portabello Road.

(pero syempre, ang sabi sa mga pinagbigyan, galing Notting Hill lahat 'yan = )

As might be expected, all the diversinationalTM stalls frontloaded their best stuff in a bid to attract the most number of customers . . .

. . .but only one had the genius (and the right) to place a tequila machine on its premises. Viva!

PENNY SALE

To celebrate their 150th anniversary and acknowledge their roots as a penny arcade, Marks and Spencer had the brilliant idea of holding a sale where some designated items would be sold for just 1p each (i.e. 75 centavos). Holy zara, even I could get behind a sale like that! Go sweetie, go!

Unfortunately, that was a sale the entire London could get behind as well. Lines formed hours before opening time and snaked from the front street entrance all the way to the back alleys. Someone from M&S (obviously a guy) thought sending out blonde women to give out free hot chocolate would keep the crowd happy, completely forgetting that the blondes+chocolate=happiness formula doesn't work with women shoppers. When the doors did open, the sale items were quickly snapped up, and many who had waited in line were left holding nothing but their now empty cups of choco.

Among them, the LLDD-Hyphen-L.

Now, this could have been a crisis situation and I could have felt the wrath of the LLDD-Hyphen-L when she got back home. But like I said before, she's a pro, so she quickly recovered from her penny-sale disappointment.

By going to Harrod's.

Specifically, the dessert section of Harrod's. Because as we all know, Harrod's + Chocolate = EVERYBODY HAPPY!

"Well, but she's gone now", you may be saying. "Now you can go back to your bachelor ways and do wild and crazy dude things like . . .um . . .attend comic-con. Or something". Perhaps, except the LLDD-Hyphen-L regularly sends me pictures from Manila that make me miss and yearn for her even more, if not continue to ask: "seriously, sweetie, what the hell goes on in your office?!"

Do you want me to go over there? Is that it? Is that what this teasing is all about? Well, let me tell you, sweetie -- it's working! I will do it! I will go there! And I will bring the chocolate!

STANDING UNDER THE CROTCH OF A ROCK GOD

I'm not a fan of using the "my life is complete" cliche after major lifetime events. If anything, it makes you look like even more of a loser, as it basically says the life you still have will suck 'til death. For instance, should I have said "my life is complete" after marrying the LLDD-Hyphen-L, even though it was the happiest day of my life? Hell, no! That would defeat the whole freakin' purpose!! The fun part was just getting started!! (right, sweetie? umoo ka.)

That being said, it is difficult to imagine how many other things in one's life can top the sheer awesomeness that is watching Ikaw Rin up close in concert.

Why do I call them Ikaw Rin? Because as I learned from my own wedding experience, concert copyright curmudgeons will hunt you down and actually block your freakin' onsite videos and slideshows on YouTube if they get a whiff that you're using their artists' music as background. Hopefully this will throw them off.

And if you can't figure out who Ikaw Rin is by now, then maybe you're life is complete. Really, there's no hope for you anymore. Just give up already.

The rest of you, follow me on my rock journey . . .

But first, wait in line for hours like I did

I always wondered how hard core you had to be to be one of those kids you see on TV who watch large stadium concerts from the front and in the field (rather than from reserved seats somewhere in the stands). Apparently, not that much. In my case, I was able to easily get a pitch-level ticket online, arrived at the stadium just an hour-and-a-half before the gates opened, took my place behind several hundred other fans, sat down, and waited. Between my oatmeal bars, newspaper and B.S. Report podcasts, time just flew by.

When the gates opened, there was a surprisingly orderly beeline towards the field. It was here that I first saw the stage nicknamed "The Claw" (but which could also be called "Son of Cloverfield"). As I walked closer to the stage, I couldn't help notice . . . that I was getting really close to the stage. My tickets were general admission-standing, but I wasn't expecting this. The papers said this concert broke all-time attendance records. . .so how come there weren't more people in front of me? This was great!! In the bottom video, you can even hear me muttering "holy crap" over and over because . . . Good Lord, I've ended up just 20 feet from the Ikaw Rin stage! I'll be able to smell the lead singer's righteousness from here!!!

Alrighty then. I have my spot, and it's another two hours 'til the show. Perfect time to get my bitchy on.

Wherever you are in the world, there will always be one group that thinks its cool to sit down and take up a disproportionate amount of space. More than once, people carrying drinks almost tripped over and fell on them (I kinda wish they did).

Nobody knew who these people were or how they managed to get on stage. We were guessing they were winners of some radio promo, or just some rich, connected douchebags. Either way, everyone in the field directly behind them did their best to ruin the picture.

Jack Bauer has not aged well.





Why the hell do you buy front row tickets to a rock concert and then wear earplugs?!?




These souvenir shirts were thin, flimsy and cost 22 pounds. Of course I bought one.



Opening Acts? For an Ikaw Rin concert? Really?

The first act was called Ang Mga Horas. Not bad. Good sound. What I didn't like was their look. They seemed to be trying a little too hard to have an indie image about them. Bassist in a vest and tie? Check. Drummer wearing a fedora? Check. Lead Guitarist in effeminate glasses? Check. Lead Singer with ironically baduy big hair. Major check.

The second act - "SalaminVegas" - I didn't like as much. They sounded like Elvis Costello just discovered an electric guitar and profanity. (I'm not kidding, one of their song's refrain went "So frak you.....fraahhhaaaaahhhaaaahhhaaack you.") Plus, the lead singer wore a sideless sando that I hadn't seen since Rey "PJ" Abellana rocked one in "D'Punks" back in the day.

Begin the awesome

Ikaw Rin finally takes to the stage and immediately rocks our faces off. Just hit after hit after hit, all from just twenty feet away. What we didn't realize was that the main stage was connected by two swinging bridges to a ramp that ran behind us and extended further into the field. The result: the bridge would sometimes set up right next to us and we'd get even closer to the band. How close?

THIS FREAKIN' CLOSE!!!!!!!!!

And during those times when the bridge would stop directly above us, we'd get an up close look at how big the band's...er...talent is.

I was so happy I became one of those things I despised the most: that guy who takes arms-length pang-Facebook pictures of himself.

The giant wraparound screen started off high above the stage, and then later expanded like an accordion, lowered itself, and re-assembled right on top of the band. Spectacular for us down on the field, but I imagine it obstructed the view of those up in the cheap seats. (suck it, cheapos; us down here stood in line for hours!)

(speaking of cheap seats, I was surprised to see the people there sitting down for a good part of the concert; I mean, if your section ain't up and jumpin', it just ain't happenin')

The spectacular lights would lead you to believe that . . . Good Lord, maybe the lead singer really does have superpowers! From above!

Enough already. Just show us some crappy cellphone video clips.

Very well, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent

Suotin Ang Iyong Botas from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

Madugong Linggo from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

Kung Saan Walang Pangalan ang mga Kalsada from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

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Sa Ciudad na Nakakabulag ang mga Ilaw (ay, ang ganda mo ngayon gabi) from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

Sa Ciudad na Nakakabulag ang mga Ilaw (ay, ang ganda mo ngayong gabi) II from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

Sa Ngalan ng Pag-ibig from guzmaniax guzmaniax on Vimeo.

Just wow. When I wasn't screaming and jumping around like a lunatic, I found myself just standing with both hands on my head in total amazement and disbelief. Occassionally, I'd even do the hands-on-head/jump-around-like-a-lunatic combo. And when I'd look around my section, everyone would be doing the exact same crazy thing. Up front and pitch-level will do that you, I guess.

By the end, I was hoarse, exhausted, and in a thin, sweaty shirt that cost 22-pounds. If anything, I was certain my life was not complete after this.

Because I wanna be around to do it again!

Bye boys. Ingat.