Sydney! They were placed in Sydney, Mon Mothma! We just received them at the airport!
As you can see, we made sure to blow their cover/cloaking device. But why are they here, and why now? I mean, yeah, we had some work done on the Residence and Chancery, but everything there was properly planned, programmed and documented, as were all other operations during this AHOP's stint.
And yes, this audit was actually routinely scheduled a long time ago in a home office far, far away and only postponed because of lockdown. Still, it is clear to this overdramatic fanboy what needs to be done in his own fanfiction saga
First, as the good Chandrilan Senator herself would do, we must welcome the finance people to a big official function -- in this case this year's Paskombalong...
...where perhaps the audit team could be distracted into investigating how the Consulate's ragtag group of singers placed second in the choir competition
(and while they're at it, they should inspect this Paskombalong visitor's barong usage, amirite?)
Second, and more importantly, I must cede all power, authority and responsibility to some other party, say....the Consulate's NEW HEAD OF POST
While the new Consul General's appointment was known in advance, her actual arrival gate was not - nagulat na lang kami na nasa likod na namin siya sa airport. Anyway, we made sure that one of the first things scheduled for the new HOP right after her touchdown was a meet-and-brief with the audit team where she could face their findings (never more than 12) and front the Consulate's response.
Happy to say in the end, scanners detected no renegade activity. We run a tight starship here, ma'am.
So my one way out of audit and AHOP was navigated properly, and I now give up all trappings of the position. S'all good, because the experience was invaluable, the service was the reward, and this overdramatic fanboy gets to put on in the end the coldest, hardest bars in the history of Star Wars: WHAT DID MOI SACRIFICE
..It's so much more! At least, that's what the T20 Cricket World Cup tried to deliver. Are you one of those people who want to get into high-level cricket but are scared off by the culture, complexity and commitment required of the traditional week-long test matches? Well, the T20 version's for you! It's shorter, faster, more tv and live-friendly, and otherwise removes all barriers to entry for the average sports fan
they'll let anybody in now
And with its own World Cup tournament, T20's looking to capture the patriotic passion and pageantry seen in spectacles like the Mondiale or the Davis Cup
or judging by all the flames and bright get-ups, Eurovision
They also did all they could to keep the in-stadium experience as rowdy and raucous as possible, including having a hyperactive PA, a "Make Some Noise/FanCam" jumbotron, chants and heckling, free-flowing drinks, as well as the bane of every introvert/too-cool sports fan -- the Wave
which, like the toilets, swirls in the other direction here in Australia
The match I caught pitted host Australia against bitter rival New Zealand, and even newbies like me figured that Australia was the cricketing powerhouse with the more famous players and was the heavy favorite going in. Well, guess again Batsman! The T20 format lends itself to the underdog getting quick licks in and then sprinting away to the finish before the favored team even knows what hit them. So it seemed to me that for this match, the Kiwis gameplan was simple enough: hit every other ball out of the park...
...hold the Aussies to low-scoring grounders...
...and when bored of that, just catch every ball lethargically hit short of the boundary
I'm an expert cricket strategist now! But I couldn't have done it without the insightful, profanity-laced play-by-play of my row of seatmates, as well as a well-meaning scoreboard that tried its best to help me keep up with what was going on but always read like a nightmare middle-school times table written exam
if a train leaves Sydney at 12pm travelling 100kph, how soon can the Aussie team lose and be on it?
But as with anything learned at school, the important thing to ask yourself: will I have any use for this in my fantasy leagues?
pshh, you don't draft Josh Hazelwood ahead of Devon "You Can Go Your" Conway, duh
you can also tell how pure class the group is by the owner's handwriting
Not only that, they even held a Filipino Tapas Wine Pairing event bringing in all the foodies, connoisseurs and fine-diners out there
...as well as all Acting "Madams". I mean, para que AHOP....
But seriously, it was a great, raucous affair, and the family was only too happy to promote all the Philippine drinks on offer (although the LLDD-Baby wasn't having any of it) (because she's underage)
(and also, she just wasn't having ANY of it)
Sorry, anak, it may be a while before you can fully enjoy something like this. 'Til then, leave the tasting and the reviews to the newly-feeling pro
let "Shiraz at Sinigang" be our new tourism slogan
By accidents of time and circumstance and general non-HOPpiness, I've never been to much less participated in the Grand Philippine Fiesta Kultura, one of the largest, liveliest and longest running Fil-com events in all of Australia. Well that ends now! I mean, para que AHOP if no tokwa't and ribbon-cut? Ihanda ang Barriometrics!
Scouting Report
If it were an Australian basketball player it would be: Luc Longley (an O.G. around since the 90s; took up lots of space but never got in the way; not the biggest star but central to overall team success; Luuuuuuuuc kinda sounds like Baluuuuuuut)
Size Matters?
Fiesta Kultura's held at the showgrounds of Fairfield, an outer western suburb about 45 minutes from central Sydney. The venue's sprawling, spacious and -- as proudly pointed out by the local Aus officials -- roofed and weatherproofed. Which is all good, because despite Kultura's relatively remote, isolated, kailangan dayuhin location...dinadayo siya! Over 30,000 strong!
The power of Mari-Tolits! Walang gustong magpaiwan!
BBQi (the barbecue index)
I don't know if it speaks to bigger-than-expected crowds or fewer-than-needed foodstalls, but there were Luc Looooooongley lines for every Pinoy BBQ and Bibingka place. Willing to wait naman. On our part, the LLDD-Baby and I were happy to get the last few available servings of a familiar hamburjer joint.
yeah, BB
Bring the Kids
Oh yes, they had all the essential "P"s of children's entertainment: playgrounds...
...PUJs...
...and Passport parties
Consulate Advisory: find someone who loves you the way this kid loves his passport
Fabuloos
As the local Aus officials also proudly pointed out, the place is a well-established showground, so all the toilet facilities are permanent, brick-and-mortar and well-maintained. Oh, and you can watch Elvis and Tina gatecrashing the secondary stages/mass venue whenever you'd peer out the bathroom windows
I never thought I'd put those words in the same sentence, but here we are
Star Grazing / Fringe Benefits
Could the bigger-than-expected crowds and Mari-Tolits buzz possibly be attributed to the fiesta's opening act debutante?
no, no it could not, but this is the only decent public-speaking picture of me ever, so pagbigyan nyo na ako
While there were some singers and stand-ups flown in for the occasion, for me the stars of the show were the fringes of thefiesta, or as I originally defined this barriometric metric, "The more WTF moments around, the better". Everywhere you'd turn, there'd be racecar revving or some pageant walking or carnival dancing or contest eating or parkour breakdancing or rapper rapping or goddamn face-melting metal head banging EVERYONE WAS GOING AT IT SO HARD
Final Fiesta Rating: 10 YEEEEE-AAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHs out of 10
.jpg)
.jpg)
(and while they're at it, they should inspect this Paskombalong visitor's barong usage, amirite?)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
they'll let anybody in now
The power of Mari-Tolits! Walang gustong magpaiwan!
