AND NOW...A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF "IT'S SATURDAY, I MUST BE IN HONG KONG"

Hong Kong has always held a special place in my heart. It was my first foreign trip as an adult. It was the place where my parents’ first grandkids were born. It was where I saw “Showgirls” in THX.

So when a small window of opportunity for the LLDDL and I to vacation in Hong Kong opened, we immediately jumped at it. Unbeknown to her and most everyone, however, I had also taken steps to make the trip as memorable, meaningful and emotional as any reality-show season-ender.

And when it comes to reality shows, there is no guilty pleasure we love more than “The Amazing Race”. We love the scenery, we love the drama, we love the adventure.

(I tell you what I don’t love: many of the RP teams to AR Asia. I’ll leave a more elaborate rant for some other time, but suffice it to say it’s hard to root for all those rich/showbiz/we-wallclimb-at-Rockwell types)

“The Amazing Race” is also great for its life metaphors, particularly the need for patience, cooperation and understanding among partners in order to survive and succeed in the world. So when you think about it, life in the Foreign Service is just like “The Amazing Race”. A really slow Amazing Race. With, like, six-year pit stops.

But the race has to start somewhere, and where better than AR mainstay Hong Kong?

And when I say start, I mean start.

For what I will do will be life-altering, if not blog-title changing.

For what I will do…

…will be revealed after this break…

First Night / Lights

We arrived in Hong Kong just after a typhoon passed through, which was a blessing of sorts as it cleared the air and left the city glistening. The different waterfront reclamation/construction projects over the years have significantly changed the skyline since I was last here (not necessarily for the better, in this humble LLDD's opinion). They've also added a regular night laser/light show, the best part of which was the start where the loudspeaker would individually introduce notable buildings, and then those buildings would light up/glow/change colors/sparkle/shoot lasers as their names were called (kinda like that part of rock concerts where the lead singer introduces the band members, and they each break into a face melting solo). The rest of the show was just ok, and I still think all of those sky lights should be reserved for one use and one use only: summoning Batman.

Mongkok Ladies Market

Of course the LLDDL had to visit here! Some of the most craptastic buys this side of Greenhills, and salesladies far less emotional and dramatic than those in Ya Show. In the bottom photo, for instance, the LLDDL is able to walk out of negotiations, and all she gets from the seller on the right is the evil eye; in Ya Show, the salesgirls would go into passive-aggressive mode, chase after you all the way down the hall, grab you by the arm, and plead "but you're my friend!"

Disneeeyyylllaaaaaaaaannnddd!!!!!!!!!

We know, we know. Disneyland is supposed to be for kids. It's too commercial. It's mababaw.

We. Didn't. Care.

We were just so happy to be there.

The LLDDL gets her own personal satisfaction from a trip to Disneyland (I suspect deep down she harbors lustful thoughts for Winne the Pooh), but for me, it's more existential. When I was a kid, I allegedly already went to US Disneyland, except I was so young, I retained no memory of it. As I grew up, my family would tell me stories of how much fun it was, showing pictures of me on the rides or hanging with Mickey. I kept being told I had the best time a kid could possibly have -- except I had no memories of it!!! Those pictures could have been photoshopped for all I knew, or my family could have tried a cheap "Total Recall" memory implant on me or something (I wouldn't put it past them). All I know is, when I arrived at HK Disneyland, I nearly wept and went into a "Pope-kisses-the-ground-upon-arrival" position.

At the "It's a Small World" pavilion (a.k.a. Last Song Syndrome hell), the LLDDL and I couldn't stop oooh-ing and aaah-ing at all the colorful, trippy puppets and figures, capped off by the Philippines' own set and song ("Maliit lang ang mundo...maliit lang ang mundo, maliit lang ang mundo"). Again, one person's kababawan is another couple's sheer joy.

Truth be told, most of the Disney attractions weren't lame kidstuff at all, but genuine good fun. The LLDD and I particularly enjoyed Buzz Lightyear's ride: the storyline and game were simple enough, with just enough cheap thrills to keep us hooting and hollering. So fun, we went through it twice (with the LLDDL scoring higher both times; Hmp).

The Wall*e and the Hottie

Devastated by La Salle's loss to Ateneo, I go overseas to scout some promising recruits. They may not win, but at least the timeouts will be entertaining.

Seconds after I take this picture, the LLDDL slams her car into my rear bumper (no doubt confused by the right-hand drive in Hong Kong).

Quick tip: if quality is not really an issue, you don't need to pay HK$100 for those in-house souvenir photos. You can take a picture with your own camera of the monitor displaying your sissy self during a ride (above), or you can just copy the pose that the professional photographer asks all other tourists do (below; that's supposed to be mouse ears, but I prefer to think of it as gentrified Darius-Miles-after-a-spectacular-dunk)

Parade! Disney puts on quite a show, with spectacular floats, sharp choreography, and the wussiest-dressed street performers since Expo Zaragoza.





Spectators weren't supposed to go beyond the curb during the parade, with ushers and security personnel strictly enforcing the rule. Some Asian girls, however, kept on stepping onto the street (and blocking our view) just so they could take pictures of themselves with the parade as a backdrop. The ushers/security kept on shoo-ing them off, but the girls kept on coming back. Finally, Donald and Daisy stepped up and gave them a stern finger-wagging, and the girls stopped. The lesson: don't mess with the duck!

Stitch’s Interactive Adventure. You go in, Stitch comes up on the big screen and acts like he’s in a regular movie, only he’ll start to dialogue with the audience, town hall meeting-style, while his onscreen mouth and body move in-sync with the ongoing conversation (I’m guessing the whole effect is done with an improv actor wearing a motion-capture suit; that, or sorcery). At first, Stitch banters with a senior couple, joking “How long have you been married? Can’t remember, can you?”. Then – out of a crowd of around 150 – Stitch talks to…me! (that’s my fuzzy picture at the upper right). He asks me my name (“Manny”), where I’m from (“The Philippines”), if I might be a boxer ("Way to stereotype, Stitch"), and if I just escaped from prison ("What the?..."). He then does a shtick where he accidentally blows up an entire planet and yells at the audience “I didn’t do it! Who did it? I know who did it….Manny did it! It was Manny! ("Well, f**k you, Stitch! I didn’t pay $HK290 to be accused of planetary genocide! F**K YOU!!!!!")

The Zoetrope, absolutely one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Some wooden figures spin around, a strobe light goes on, and - viola - they jump out and come to life like the most awesome acid trip ever!

Jungle river ride. Better than expected, if only because our cruise guide absolutely sold her panicky "Watch OUT!" routine.







We went looking for a spot in the park map called "The Demon Trail", keeping an eye out for a large pavilion or ride or something. Turns out the the "trail" was more like an "aisle". Still the unexpected bursts of fog, onset of night, and rejects from "Pirates of the Caribbean" made for good camp.










Through the LLDDL's excellent planning, we visited Disneyland the day they were unveiling their new Halloween show. Now, for a place supposedly kid-centered and friendly, Disney sure put on a creepy, borderline disturbing show. It was set against a screechy rock opera soundtrack and showcased Tim Burton's "Nightmare before Christmas" and "Corpse Bride" (why the hell not? next year Disney could book characters from "Hannibal" and "Saw"). It didn't help that the parade choreography called for the street dancers to frequently spin out of formation and shriek directly in the face of children sitting on the curb. A little girl right in front of us got screamed at three times, and huddled in a little ball the rest of the show.

(yeah, well at least she's got memories of her trip to Disneyland!)

The big fireworks finale. Perfect timing between lights, music and pyrotechnics (as well as post-show transportation and bathroom availability).

Thank you, Disney. We'll remember this forever.



Big Buddha




The following day, we decide to visit the Big Buddha on Lantau island. And not just visit, but climb the hundreds of steps to the top. The better to work off the hotel breakfast buffet.

You (gasp) go ahead, sweetie...(gasp gasp)...I'll (gasp) catch up (gasp) later (gaaaaaaaaasssppp)







At every staircase landing, I ask the LLDD to pose for pictures. "Nagpapahinga ka lang, eh!" she answers. She knows me so well.






The (Sarah) Po Lin Monestary

And now...the dramatic conclusion of "A Very Special 'It's Saturday, I must be in Hong Kong' "

Our last night in Hong Kong, the LLDDL and I head to The Peak. Feeling on top of the world, and all that.

Since Hong Kong was my first foreign trip as an adult, the view from The Peak was also my first ever “No Freakin’ Way” (NFW) site. I always thought the place was breathtakingly romantic, and I hoped and prayed the LLDDL would think the same.

For this would be the place.

When it's right, it's right. When it's time, it's time.

And it's the right time and the right place to add a new alliteration to my title:

Lame Lawyer

Dorky Diplomat

Hapless husband.

That's right. I popped THE Question.

And the LLDDL said "yes".

Actually, it was more like "YESSSSSSS!!!!! And it counts!!!" with accompanying fist pump. But still.

And our amazing life race is on.

And I've got the best partner there is.