AH, SO THIS IS THE "WEEKEND" YOU SPEAK OF

A batchmate once had a great quote about how busy things are at post: "weekends are like unicorns: I've heard stories of them, but have never really seen one".

True, true (haaah haaah haaah haaaaaaaah haaa). Here in London - and at every other post, no doubt - many an embassy personnel's weekend has been foregone in favor of things like overtime work, official visits, community events and, most recently, the typhoon "Fightback". So I was pleasantly surprised that for the recent long All-Saints weekend, I actually had some spare time on my hands. And you know what spare time means for a party animal like me in a wild city like London, don't you?

Laundry!

Well, yes, there was that, but since this was a long weekend, there was an extra day for exciting stuff like:

The Natural History Museum

Ok, granted, you and I have a different definition of "exciting". But I've always wanted to go into this place because of its facade's vibrant colors and intricate details. It is, to my mind, one of the most attractive structures in London, whose sheer beauty is enough to make me forget that I once paid 10 pounds to watch "Night at the Museum 2"

As early as the walk up to the entrance and the first few steps in, you realize that the star of this show is the building itself as much as the collection in it. Geek and goth alike would enjoy this place.

Once inside, everyone seems to head straight for the dinosaur exhibit, which causes crowding and slow moving lines (imagine if they had the Dinobots!). Fortunately, you're entertained by all the kids who roar into the mouths of the dino-fossils, and by the steady stream of informational posters along the way. Do you know, for instance, the reason why dinosaurs became extinct?




Haaaaaaaahahaha! "It's called cricket!" Oh, that Paleontologist humor!

Aiiiiggghhhh!!!! Look, I don't like whales, snakes and monkees in and of themselves. Whale, snake and monkee skeletons just plain freak me out.

Animals carved into stone, however, are fraking bad ass.




Would make a great name for a rock band.

Alas, I end the tour on a downer. The last exhibit I passed through was the earth sciences hall, and the volcanoes section there led with a feature on the Pinatubo eruption. Sure, why not? For whatever reason, however, the museum decided that it was a good idea to - rather than just explain the awesome natural science aspect of the event - contrive a presentation that focused on the difficulties of the human response to the eruption. Thus, they showed a "live" news report (staged by actors) with an "anchorman" asking "field reporters" condescending questions like "couldn't anyone see this coming?" and "surely, the evacuation efforts can't be deemed a success?"

I mean, why? Why go out of your way and spend time and money to make of all things a fake TV production that mocks what people couldn't do in the face of one the biggest natural disasters of all time? It was a freaking centuries-dormant volcano!!! There was no way anyone could accurately predict everything!!!

See?! You say so yourself!!!

Saatchi Gallery

Considering how bummed I was about the volcano thing, the choice of an abstract art gallery as my next weekend venue was a very risky one, as I have never been much into the artsy scene (unless you count Star Wars costumes as art) (which it totally is). I speak from sheer ignorance, lack of proper appreciation, and complete absence of talent, but too often I feel like modern/abstract artists are just putting me on, and that their work was just thrown together and only later explained away by a cutesy title. (or, the other way around, sometimes I feel the artists come up with the cutesy title first, and then make something to fit it; like I said, I'm ignorant and talentless).

Imagine then, my utter surprise at how thoroughly I enjoyed the Saatchi Gallery. It was bright rather than brooding; friendly rather than prententious; capable of appreciation rather than "wtf".

Did that mean I understood any of the artworks?

Hell, no.

But I know what I liked.

And, without a doubt, my favorite work was one called "Old Persons Home". There was no missing the message here -- heck, even I could figure it out -- and the use of motorized wheelchairs could be considered gimmicky. But, dammit, it just worked. The eerily lifelike sculptures (ironically depicting lifeless humans), the directionless and purposeless movements, the seeming attempts at interaction among the figures -- they all just came together perfectly to make a mesmerizing point, however unsubtle.

Put another way, anytime you can get me to stay in a room filled with creepy figures on Halloween without making me cry like a little girl? Art.

Halloween Dinner

A halloween dinner was hastily called among associates, and at the last minute, it was decided that it should be a costume party. No worries. Most just came in kiddie masks or funny wigs anyway, the kind that wouldn't frighten any....

Aiiiiiigggh!!!! Not art! Not art!

It was also a potluck affair, and someone (correctly) figured that on that cold and dreary London night, people would be craving hot Filipino morning food like sinangag and pritong itlog. Then, someone dressed as Audrey Hepburn showed up. So in effect, what we had was -- wait for it -- Pinoy Breakfast at Tiffany's!

And the jokes went downhill from there.

Wingardium Longganisa!

Kamay-kain-NA!

Yes, it's always good to end a long weekend on awful food/comic-related puns.