So one of my big pet peeves is when one country issues a “Travel Advisory” against another country, like when Country X warns its nationals about Country Y with a statement like “THE SKY IS FALLING!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!! WE’RE NOT SURE WHERE AND HOW, BUT – HOOO BOY!!! IT COULD BE A DOOZY!!! WELL, NO, Y’ALL DON’T HAVE TO GO HOME RIGHT NOW … WE’RE ACTUALLY NOT TOO SURE OF THINGS OURSELVES . . . WE THINK IT WILL BE IN A MONTH WITH AN “R” . . . BUT STILL . . . FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY . . . LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING!!! I MEAN, WE’VE SEEN THE AMBIGUOUSLY WORDED INTELLIGENCE REPORTS!!! THEY USED THE WORD “SUGGEST”, FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!....oh the humanity….”
You know, something subtle like that.
I know these advisories are well-intentioned, but a lot of times they’re exaggerated, not in the proper context, or just flat-out wrong.
In the meantime, Country Y can kiss hosting that international dentists convention goodbye.
My bigger pet peeve is when some know-it-all columnist, deejay, professor, talk-show mainstay, cab driver, etc actually rides on a Travel Advisory bandwagon and rags on his/her own country without so much as a fact check or an alternative solution, as if pure whining would cure all that ailed us.
My BIGGEST pet peeve . . . is Annabelle Rama, but that’s neither here nor there.
No, what really gets me is when some pompous, pretentious, portentous Filipinos get so into shallow-minded self-loathing that they haughtily use “Hay, naku…Only in the Philippines” (bonus peeve points if the blowhard smugly and self-satisfiedly says the phrase like he/she came up with it).
Because to me, if the height of your social insight is using “Only in the Philippines” to finish your commentary, then you’re on the same intellectual level (and circle of hell) as those people who think they win arguments by using “He-lloooo?”, “Nya-uh” or any other catchphrase they’ve seen on “Friends”.
Anyway, I’ve always daydreamed of a cheap local cable-access show where some likeable guys would humorously put things in perspective by calling out other countries that have problems all too familiar to Filipinos. I’d call it “Travel Advisory … NOT only in the Philippines” (in case I wasn't obvious enough). Think Daily Show meets Bubble Gang meets Wayne’s World (heck, maybe Tia Carrere herself can guest host; she says she’s Filipina).
The point of the show would not be to gloss over our very real troubles or knock other countries down, but just to get the “Only in the Philippines” crowd to – as my old law school classmate used to say – “Hey, relax; take a break; you don’t have to be an asshole all the time.”
I'll even get the ball rolling. Check out the following recent stories an “Only in the Philippines” peabrain would pounce on. Then click the link, and you may be surprised to see where the story actually came from.
You know, something subtle like that.
I know these advisories are well-intentioned, but a lot of times they’re exaggerated, not in the proper context, or just flat-out wrong.
In the meantime, Country Y can kiss hosting that international dentists convention goodbye.
My bigger pet peeve is when some know-it-all columnist, deejay, professor, talk-show mainstay, cab driver, etc actually rides on a Travel Advisory bandwagon and rags on his/her own country without so much as a fact check or an alternative solution, as if pure whining would cure all that ailed us.
My BIGGEST pet peeve . . . is Annabelle Rama, but that’s neither here nor there.
No, what really gets me is when some pompous, pretentious, portentous Filipinos get so into shallow-minded self-loathing that they haughtily use “Hay, naku…Only in the Philippines” (bonus peeve points if the blowhard smugly and self-satisfiedly says the phrase like he/she came up with it).
Because to me, if the height of your social insight is using “Only in the Philippines” to finish your commentary, then you’re on the same intellectual level (and circle of hell) as those people who think they win arguments by using “He-lloooo?”, “Nya-uh” or any other catchphrase they’ve seen on “Friends”.
Anyway, I’ve always daydreamed of a cheap local cable-access show where some likeable guys would humorously put things in perspective by calling out other countries that have problems all too familiar to Filipinos. I’d call it “Travel Advisory … NOT only in the Philippines” (in case I wasn't obvious enough). Think Daily Show meets Bubble Gang meets Wayne’s World (heck, maybe Tia Carrere herself can guest host; she says she’s Filipina).
The point of the show would not be to gloss over our very real troubles or knock other countries down, but just to get the “Only in the Philippines” crowd to – as my old law school classmate used to say – “Hey, relax; take a break; you don’t have to be an asshole all the time.”
I'll even get the ball rolling. Check out the following recent stories an “Only in the Philippines” peabrain would pounce on. Then click the link, and you may be surprised to see where the story actually came from.
* Garbage? We don't need your steenking garbage!
* Man, next thing you know, scrap metal thieves will start stealing stadium bleachers...oh, wait.
* Blackouts, heatwave, traffic, oh, my!
* Dengue. Your welcome.
* Rate low on those country corruption indexes? Apparently, it's just a matter of perspective.
* I've heard of pirate waters, but this is ridiculous.
* Squatter...meet police truncheon. Police truncheon...meet squatter.
* "Terror strike" sounds bad enough. But when the "terror" bit is actually an entirely separate story from the "strike", you know your country's having a bad news day.
* Scam scam bo-bam, banana bama bo-bam, fi fi fo fam. Scam!
(and don't go expecting Robocop to save your ass. He might be on the take too)
So how you doing? Could I BE any more peeved? I KNOW! Oh….my….Gawd!
No comments:
Post a Comment