(Law) Director's Commentary
*Oh, snap. Leia was all "the means of transport of the mission shall be immune from search or requisition" (Article 22, Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations), but Vader called her out and was back in her face with "without prejudice to their privileges and immunities, all persons enjoying such immunities are duty bound to respect the laws and regulations of the receiving State, and not to interfere in the internal affairs of that State, b**ch!" (Articles 41, Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations; profanity supplied)
EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
INT. CLOUD CITY - HOLDING CHAMBER
LANDO: Lord Vader.
VADER: You may take Captain Solo to Jabba the Hut after I have Skywalker.
(Han's screams filter through the torture room door.)
BOBA FETT: He's no good to me dead.
VADER: He will not be permanently damaged.
LANDO: Lord Vader, what about Leia and the Wookiee?
VADER: They must never again leave this city.*
LANDO: That was never a condition of our agreement,** nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!
VADER: Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly.
LANDO: No.***
VADER: Good. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.****
(Vader turns and sweeps into the elevator with Boba Fett. Lando walks swiftly down another corridor, muttering to himself.)
LANDO: This deal's getting worse all the time.*****
(Law) Director's Commentary
*See? Darth ain’t so bad. You must admit, there are worse fates for Leia than getting exiled to the sweet, sweet love of hunky man-stache Lando Calrissian.
**Is Lando even authorized to enter into an agreement with the Empire? Remember, he’s just the administrator of Cloud City. A state representative must produce appropriate full powers for purposes of expressing the consent of the State (Article 7, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties). Lando never showed his “full powers” (except, maybe, to the ladies. Ba-da-bing!).
***You could have made a reservation to the agreement, you know. (Articles 19 to 23, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties)
****I’m sure Vader wasn’t implying any permanent basing agreement; he probably just meant an agreement on visiting forces of some kind; no Senate concurrence required; carry on.
*****Pancta sunt servanda, pretty boy. Deal with it.
He put the "ohhhhhh..." in Lando
EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI
EXT-DAGOBAH SWAMP
(Luke turns, and settles near [the ghost of] Ben to hear the tale.)
BEN: The Organa household was high-born and politically quite powerful in that system. Leia became a princess by virtue of lineage... no one knew she'd been adopted, of course. But it was a title without real power, since Alderaan had long been a democracy. Even so, the family continued to be politically powerful, and Leia, following in her foster father's path, became a senator as well. That's not all she became, of course... she became the leader of her cell in the Alliance against the corrupt Empire. And because she had diplomatic immunity, she was a vital link for getting information to the Rebel cause. That's what she was doing when her path crossed yours... for her foster parents had always told her to contact me on Tatooine, if her troubles became desperate.*
(Law) Director's Commentary
*Ben seems to be getting confused in his old age (or violent death). Being a Senator in itself does not give you diplomatic immunity, just parliamentary immunity (Article 145, Revised Penal Code). Even then, the immunity from arrest or search is limited up to crimes punishable by prision mayor or less only (i.e. six to twelve years imprisonment). I’ll wager a guess the Galactic Empire's penalty for giving Death Star secrets to rebels (i.e. obliterating your home planet) is considered a little higher than that.
In a way...yes. Yes, it did.
EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE
SCENE I
INT. REPUBLIC CRUISER – COCKPIT
(In the cockpit of the cruiser, the CAPTAIN and PILOT maneuver closer to one of the battleships.)
QUI-GON : (off screen voice) Captain.(The Captain turns to an unseen figure sitting behind her.)
CAPTAIN : Yes, sir?
QUI-GON : (V.O) Tell them we wish to board at once.
CAPTAIN : Yes, sir.
(The CAPTAIN looks to her view screen, where NUTE GUNRAY, a Neimoidian trade viceroy, waits for a reply.)
CAPTAIN : (cont'd) With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassodors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.
NUTE : Yes, yes, of course...ahhh...as you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, and we'd be happy to recieve the Ambassador...Happy to.
SCENE II
INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP – BRIDGE
(NUTE GUNRAY and DAULTRAY DOFINE stand, stunned, before TC-14.)
NUTE : (shaken) What?!? What did you say?
TC-14 : The Ambassadors are Jedi Knights, I believe.
DOFINE : I knew it! They were sent to force a settlement, eh. Blind me, we're done for!
SCENE III
INT. FEDERATION BATTLESHIP – BRIDGE
(TEY HOW recieves a transmission.)
TEY HOW : Sir, a transmission from the planet.
RUNE : It's Queen Amidala herself.
NUTE : At last we're getting results.
(On the view screen, QUEEN AMIDALA appears in her throne room. Wearing her elaborate headdress and robes, she sits, surrounded by the GOVERNING COUNCIL and FOUR HANDMAIDENS, EIRTAE, YANE, RABE, and SACHE.)
NUTE : (cont'd) Again you come before me, Your highness. The Federation is pleased.
AMIDALA : You will not be pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy...Your trade boycott of our planet has ended.
(NUTE smirks at RUNE.)
NUTE : I was not aware of such a failure.
AMIDALA : I have word that the Senate is finally voting on this blockade of yours.
NUTE : I take it you know the outcome. I wonder why they bother to vote.
AMIDALA : Enough of this pretense, Viceroy! I'm aware the Chancellor's Ambassadors are with you now, and that you have been commanded to reach a settlement.
NUTE : I know nothing about any Ambassadors...you must be mistaken.
(AMIDALA, surprised at his reaction, studies him carefully.)
AMIDALA : Beware, Viceroy....the Federation is going too far this time.
NUTE : Your Highness, we would never do anything without the approval of the Senate. You assume too much.
AMIDALA : We will see.*
(Law) Director's Commentary
*No, really, Her Highness assumed too much. She assumed the Jedi “Ambassadors” could just waltz in and the Trade Federation had to take them in. Au contraire, Amidala, a sending State must make certain that the agrément of the receiving State has been given for the person it proposes to accredit, and the receiving State is not obliged to give reasons to the sending State for the refusal of the agrément (Article 4, Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations). Furthermore, given the specialized mission and purpose of the Jedi in this case, their apparent lack of accreditation with the host country, and their probable lack of approval from the Commission of Appointments, they shouldn’t even be calling themselves “Ambassadors” (see Section 16, Foreign Service Act; see also E.O. 594 on Rules Governing the Appointment/Designation and Conduct Of Special Envoys). Honestly, the entire behavior of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in this affair smacks of name-dropping frat boys trying to crash a party with fake I.D.s
Dude, I told you we'd totally score if we called ourselves "Excellency"
SCENE IV
INT. PALPATINES QUARTERS – SUNSET
AMIDALA : I fear by the time you have control of the bureaucrats, Senator, there will be nothing left of our cities, our people, our way of life...
PALPATINE : I understand your concern, Your Majesty; unfortunately, the Federation has possession of our planet.* The law is in their favor.**
(Law) Director's Commentary
*Uti possidetis. Parties to a particular treaty are to retain possession of that which they forcibly seized during a war. Admit it, Queenie, the Federation is right.
**A-HA!
EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES
SCENE I
INT - NABOO LAKE RETREAT, DINING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON
(NANDI places dessert in front of PADMÉ. TECKLA does the same for ANAKIN. The dessert is some kind of fruit.)
ANAKIN: And when I got to them, we went into... aggressive negotiations. (to Teckla) Thank you.
PADMÉ: "Aggressive negotiations," what's that?
ANAKIN: Uh, well, negotiations with a lightsaber.
PADMÉ: (laughing) Oh.*
(Law) Director's Commentary
The expression of a State’s consent to be bound by a treaty which has been procured by the coercion of its representative through acts or threats directed against him shall be without any legal effect (Article 52, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties). Tell me, why are the Jedi the good guys again?
SCENE II
INT - GEONOSIS, CENTRAL SQUARE – MORNING
COUNT DOOKU: Now, we must persuade the Commerce Guild andthe Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty.
NUTE GUNRAY: What about the Senator from Naboo? Is she dead yet? I'm not signing your treaty until I have her head on my desk.*
(Law) Director's Commentary
*Umm……Deposit of the Instrument of Acceptance of Treaty? (Article 16, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties)
Your head will do fine, too
SCENE III
INT- GEONOSIS, CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
(POGGLE THE LESSER and his TWO AIDES are at one end of a large round conference table.)
COUNT DOOKU: Now is the time, my friends. This is the moment when you have to decide between the Republic or the Confederacy of Independent Systems. As I explained to you earlier, I'm quite convinced that ten thousand more systems will rally to our cause with your support, gentlemen. And let me remind you of our absolute commitment to capitalism...of the lower taxes, the reduced tariffs, and the eventual abolition of all trade barriers.* Signing this treaty will bring you profits beyond your wildest imagination. What we are proposing is completely free trade. (looks at Nute) Our friends in the Trade Federation have pledged their support. When their Battle Droids are combined with yours, we shall have an army greater than anything in the galaxy, The Jedi will be overwhelmed. The Republic will agree to any demands we make.
PASSEL ARGENTE: I am authorized by the Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty.**
COUNT DOOKU: We are most grateful for your cooperation, Chairman.
SHU MAI: The Commerce Guilds do not at this time wish tobecome openly involved, But we shall support you in secret- and look forward to doing business with you.
(There are chuckles around the table. COUNT DOOKU smiles.)
COUNT DOOKU: That is all we ask.
SAN HILL: The Intergalactic Banking Clan will support you wholeheartedly, but only in a non-exclusive arrangement.***
WAT TAMBOR: The Techno Unions**** are at your disposal, Count.
(Law) Director's Commentary
* Later lifted verbatim by the WTO for the Doha Round.
** Full powers!
*** Reservations! (see how easy it is, Lando?)
**** For the traditional diplomat rave after-party.
Party separatists in the house! Throw your claws in the air! And wave them to the stratos-phare!
EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH
SCENE I
EXT. CORUSCANT-PADME'S APARTMENT-VERANDA-SUNSET
PADME: Anakin, this war represents a failure to listen . . . Now, you're closer to the Chancellor than anyone. Please, please ask him to stop the fighting and let diplomacy resume.*
ANAKIN: (growing angry) Don't ask me to do that, Padme. Make a motion in the Senate, where that kind of a request belongs. I'm not your errand boy. I'm not anyone's errand boy!**
(Law) Director's Commentary
*Good diplomats often resort to backchannelling.
**If I had a Peso for every time I’ve said this…
SCENE II
INT-ALDERAAN CRUISER-CONFERENCE ROOM
(BAIL ORGANA, YODA, and OBI-WAN sit around a conference table.)
YODA: Pregnant, she must still appear. Hidden, safe, the children must be kept.
OBI-WAN: We must take them somewhere the Sith will not sense their presence.
YODA: Split up, they should be.
BAIL ORGANA: My wife and I will take the girl. We've always talked of adopting a baby girl. She will be loved with us.
OBI-WAN: And what of the boy?
YODA: To Tatooine. To his family, send him.
(Law) Director's Commentary
I cannot begin to tell you how many provisions of the “The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in respect of Intercountry Adoption” Yoda, Obi-Wan and Bail violated here.
For shame, Jedi. For shame.
Fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to..."Separation of Twins" action figures?
