5.06.2008

TALES OF THE RECENTLY DEPARTED

So I heard the foreign posting Assignment Orders of at least two more batchmates have just been signed and are happily chugging along through the bureaucracy. This means, come third quarter of ‘08, there will finally be more batchmates abroad than at the Home Office.

(in related news, my P10 and under Christmas gift list just got shorter)

Meanwhile, my Assignment Order is still nowhere on the horizon, but you won’t find me bitching about it. No, I got too much to live for right here. The LLDDL and I are having the time of our lives, my nephews are growing up right before my eyes, and Precious Adona’s movie won’t come out ‘til later this year, dammit!

And, honestly, some of these first e-mails from post of my departed batchmates are, shall we say, a wee bit disconcerting:

IRONICALLY, THIS EMOTIONAL FAREWELL WAS WRITTEN BY THE BATCH POWER FORWARD

“i plead guilty. i love you all, in spite of everything. cant help it if i have this tendency to over-express myself. if you have 3 brothers kasi like i have and they all come after me, you basically lord it over them. but essentially, deep down, you love them like hell and wish them all the best in the world.”


YOU’VE HEARD THE EXPRESSION ‘DON'T AIR YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IN PUBLIC?’ WELL….

“Unaccompanied Baggage - Huwag nyong isama ang mga labahin sa box (wag nyo akong gayahin) kasi bubuksan yan ng forwader para gumawa ng packing list para di ka matanong kung magnenegosyo ka ng ukay-ukay sa pupuntahan mo.”


NO, HE’S NOT BITTER

“And to add to (the) suggestions, hwag na hwag kayong magexcess baggage. I paid more than 300 us dollars for the 20 kg excess baggage. Grabe, buti may konting pera pa ako…Ang sama pa, walang barya sila and had I not insisted on getting my change, nadugas pa ako ng $56!”


THEY TAUGHT US DURING CADETSHIP TO ALWAYS MAKE A FIRST IMPRESSION, SO…

“What's up? Im doing fine here (at my first day at post). One problem though.I've got chicken pox!”


FORTUNATELY, HIS FIRST ROAD-TRIP-AT-POST STORY WAS SO LONG IT GAVE EVERYONE A CHANCE TO LOOK UP “SANGUINARY.”

“We were confident with our car, but the same is sadly not true of our driver. We shall call our driver “M” the Multi-tasker. “M” is a strapping lad, about 15 years old, if he is a day older. He drives at a speed that would be considered respectable to Schumacher in a good day at the track. He could talk, dial his phone, gesticulate and make eye contact with his passengers while at the same time drive. The complete multi-tasker. “M” was driving like crazy while calling out good-natured insults to other reckless drivers. Though our good man “M” is quite convinced of his immortality, we were not quite as sanguinary. Of course, being macho Filipinos with big cojones, we affected a pose of studied nonchalance while praying that we would arrive at our destinations as Assistance-to-Nationals (ATN) Officers, not as ATN cases.”


ROSS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO SAY RACHEL’S NAME AT HIS WEDDING, EITHER

“I just solemnized my first wedding last sunday, it was going pretty well, until I found out I was reading the marriage vows of the groom for myself!!! mwahahahahahahaha! as in ‘I ___ promise to cherish you ...’ “


AND FINALLY, A CRY FOR HELP

“panyo!!! wala ditong panyo, ewan ko sa dubai kung meron!!!”

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