FSO MANNY PACQUIAO FACTS

On the occasion of Chuck Norris' 69th birthday, a fellow FSO forwarded to me the comprehensive list of Chuck Norris Facts. Needless to state, I peed in my pants laughing. When I finally dried myself off, I decided to have some fun and try my hand at a few, but limiting the references to diplomacy and foreign relations. Because Chuck Norris would have wanted me to.

My original intent was to come up with more Norris diplo-facts, forward them to a couple of other FSOs, and hope they'd get on the Chuck wagon and add a couple of their own. But then it occurred to me: we're Philippine diplomats, dammit! We can't be promoting Walker Texas Ranger! Surely there's a Filipino who can equally kick ass, rock the 'stache and bring the awesome!

Behold, then: Manny Pacquiao DFA facts!

(If some of these seem too obscure, remember: there are no inside jokes; just humor Manny Pacquiao gets and you don't)

• If Manny Pacquiao were an ASEAN country, there would be no more principle of non-intervention; there would still be, however, the principle of consensus -- his.
• Manny Pacquiao could topple a Regime of Islands.
• Manny Pacquiao's passport photo is always the right shade of royal blue.
• Manny Pacquiao's First Person Notes are in the third.
• The Senate needs Manny Pacquiao's confirmation.
• Manny Pacquiao avails of the shipping container AND the 50%.
• Manny Pacquiao needs only two pillars of foreign policy: his left and right fists.
• Manny Pacquiao can tell diplomats to go to hell such that they look forward to the trip.
• Mexico set up an Assistance-to-Nationals desk to help out Manny Pacquiao's victims.
• A fair fight for Manny Pacquiao is ASEAN, Plus Three.
• Manny Pacquiao sued the U.S. for copyright infringement; "Visiting Forces" are what he's always called his left and right jabs.
• Manny Pacquiao can read an e-passport.
• Manny Pacquiao cannot assure Your Excellency of his highest esteem and consideration.
• There is no Exclusive Economic Zone, just the 200 nautical miles countries need to stay away from Manny Pacquiao.
• Manny Pacquiao will make you say ARF like a dog.
• Manny Pacquiao picks his teeth with those fixers' sticks.
• Manny Pacquiao is so fast the Home Office is still not sure if he made a personal appearance for his passport or not.
  
• Manny Pacquiao laughs at your Full Powers.
• Protocol is defined as behavior so wussy Manny Pacquiao doesn't bother to kick its ass.
• Manny Pacquiao recalled the Home Office.

By the stockings of Dela Hoya, that was fun to make!!!

No, Manny. Para sa 'yo.