OUT WITH THE OLD PALPAK, IN WITH THE NEW SABLAY

When in London during the holiday season, you do as the Londoners do: wait for the Boxing Day sales right after - but buy your Christmas tree right before - the 25th.

or in our case, Christmas Shrub.

Which is not to say we didn't try to inject some Pinoy traditions into the LLDD manor. The LLDD-Hyphen-L and I did put up a parol on the window that all passers-by admired. . .

although we like to think our holiday vogueing also had something to do with it

. . . and did prepare a noche buena consisting of ham, pasta, champagne and cake

and Centrum!

Come New Year's Eve, the LLDD-Hyphen-L and I, together with Embassy senior officer "The Lieutenant" and his wife, joined many other freezing people - as in hundreds of thousands of them - at the River Thames to party and watch the fireworks display at the London Eye. The party/viewing areas were stretched out across the northern banks of the river (think Baywalk, with the London Eye somewhere near the Manila Yacht Club breakwater), and quickly filled with revellers. Fortunately, "The Lieutenant" planned our trip well, so we arrived fairly early - about 9.30pm, got in easily through the Northumberland Avenue (think Quirino Avenue) entry point, reached the riverbank, and were able to settle at a pretty close and unobstructed view of The Eye.

this freaking close and unobstructed!

All was going well until I made the stupid, stupid, STUPID decision to go on a bathroom break rather than just wait it out at our spot (what can I say? I'm getting old and cold weather makes me pee). Since the lines to the porta-potties were at least 30 people deep (and mentally calculating that each person would take at least five minutes in them...that's how long it usually takes, right?), I thought it would be much quicker if I just left the LLDD-Hyphen-L, "The Lieutenant" and his wife where they were and walk back to the Embassy (think just beyond Manila Zoo) and use the bathroom there (think a bathroom just beyond Manila Zoo).

Stupid, stupid, STUPID me. After my five minute toilet break at the Embassy (that's how long it usually takes, right?), I headed back to the Northumberland Avenue entrance and found it...barricaded. With chest high metal fences, and rows and rows of burly police. Apparently, the viewing area from the Northumberland access point had reached its maximum capacity while I was away (five minutes!), and no more people were being let in.

Oh, frak.

Somehow, I had to make it back to the LLDD-Hyphen-L et al before the stroke of midnight, or else ruin the New Year's Eve experience for everyone. I first tried pleading with the police to let me in, saying my companions were already inside. No go. "They can bloody come outside and join you if they want, but no one's getting in", was a particularly hefty policeman's reply.

I then tried to go to the next nearest riverbank access point past Charing Cross (think Vito Cruz). By this time, however, there were already floods of people pouring into the same street heading towards that same direction (like those crowd fleeing scenes in War of the Worlds or Darna at ang mga Higante), which made movement very, very slow and stressful. I somehow still managed to make it to the riverbank, and headed back along the water's edge towards the LLDD-Hyphen-L's area. Judging from the tall landmarks, I got to about 30 yards of where she was, so I made a final dash for her spot, and found it...barricaded.

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!

It was already about 10.45pm by then, and I had to make a most unpleasant decision: stay where I was, and welcome the new year and watch the fireworks separately/away from the LLDD-Hyphen-L; or, go back out and ask her to meet me outside the viewing areas so that we could be together at midnight -- but also make her first London NYE consist of three hours standing in the cold and not seeing any fireworks.

The LLDD-Hyphen-L, bless her heart, made the decision for me: she called to tell me she would meet me outside the Northumberland entrance, because us being together was more important to her than seeing some fireworks.

awwwwww. . .it's freezing cold outside, but my heart is melting!

So make my way to Northumberland I did, with pain, shame and guilt accompanying my every step. I arrive at the barricade, the same hefty policeman still there. I see the LLDD-Hyphen-L approaching from afar, and I prepare to prostate myself right there on the street. But wait...what's this? "The Lieutenant" and his wife are also with her?! Oh great, now I'll be ruining everyone's New Year once they come out. I mean, spoiling things for the LLDD-Hyphen-L is one thing altogether; failing a senior diplomat is something else.

Because they'll unleash the Force on your ass

But, hey, hold on. The three of them go up to some security personnel within the barricades...I'm too far to hear anything, but I can see from where I am that there's a lot of talking...a lot of arms are being waved...more security personnel are called over...I'm pointed out in the crowd...some more arm waving...one of the security personnel walks up to the barricades...the tension builds...he reaches under hefty policeman...AND HE PULLS ME THROUGH!!! I'M IN!!! I'M FRAKING IN!!!!!

Hooo boy! What a rush! As we're walking back to the LLDD-Hyphen-L and "The Lieutenant", the security guy who pulled me in says to me "You're newly married, aren't you? That's why I let you in. I couldn't stand to see the sad look on your bride's face."

awwwwww....duuuuuude! It's freezing cold outside, but my heart is......duuuuuuuuuuuude!

I learn later that, as he and the ladies were first approaching the Northumberland barricades to meet me outside, "The Lieutenant" was mentally going through three possible stories for me to be let in: 1) we were tourists, and our hotel was located inside the barricades; 2) we were diplomats, and I had get inside to accompany a visiting dignitary; and 3) I was newly married, and you wouldn't want to separate newlyweds on new year's eve, would you?

"The Lieutenant" made the great, great, GREAT call of going with number three. It was honest AND effective. And THAT, aspiring FSOs, is how you practice diplomacy! (and why the "The Lieutenant" is already a senior officer, and I'm not [just say the word, boss, and I'll testify for you at your Commission on Appointments hearing])

I also learn later that "the sad look on your bride's face" was, in the LLDD-Hyphen-L's own words: "hindi sad 'yon, ginaw na ginaw na kaya ako!"

awwwwwww.......that's so......awwwwwww.

The face of relief

So that was that. I man-hugged security dude to the extent legally appropriate and socially acceptable, and we were all able to get back to our original unobstructed viewing spot with 30 minutes to spare. Needless to state, despite the cold weather toying with my bladder anew, there were no further bathroom breaks. Nothing left but cuddling up with the LLDD-Hyphen-L and enjoying the show.

And bloody hell it was spectacular.

I heard there's this other city that has some ball of lightbulbs drop down a few feet during new year's. Wow. Good for them.

To top it off, as if on cue, within seconds of the fireworks ending, it actually begins the snow. Why the heck not? It was just like the rest of this evening. Perfect, and according to plan.