THE FULL BALIKBAYAN

Oh no no no, we're NOT bagong bayanis by any means. The LLDD-Hyphen-L and I did, however, go "Full Balikbayan" during our quick trip back to the Philippines, and ticked off a lot of things that presumably appear on every visiting OFW's to-do list. Specifically:

TAKE CARE OF PERSONAL BIDNESS

In particular, I have to attend a continuing legal education program every three years in Manila, or else I lose the lawyer from "lame lawyer" (the lame, of course, will always remain). The session I went to was interesting, if not particularly exciting. Even the open fora saw few grandstanding panyeros, and my only source of entertainment was a lawyer seated next to me who kept on grabbing my elbow and telling me "I have 50 years of experience!" and showing me his Roll Number to prove it.

Pictured: the number of lawyers it takes to change a lightbulb

EAT!

For an ego trip, nothing beats coming home after months of being away and have everyone tell you "pumayat ka". The polite answer to that, of course, is "hindi naman" (with hand wave). The more accurate response, however, is "eh paano, ang mahal mahal ng pagkain sa London!!" It was no surprise then that literally every day during our stay in Manila, the LLDD-Hyphen-L and I gorged on food in amounts unseen in the UK, and immediately gained back all the weight previously lost.

In our defense, there was no such thing as Sisig Carbonara the last time we were here.

HAVE FAMILY REUNIONS

You may think, "ang arte mo naman, wala ka pang isang taon nawala, pa-family family reunion ka pa". Actually, the reunions were significant, as there were family members who weren't even born yet while I was away. This was therefore my first time to see them and joyfully hold them in my arms.

Not that the feeling was mutual

VISIT A DENTIST

Well score one for medical tourism! The thing about Philippine dentists is - not only are they good, not only are they (substantially) less expensive - they are everywhere! So when I needed to go to a dentist for my...um...five year check-up, and the LLDD-Hyphen-L needed to see one for an emergency filling, it was literally a walk in the mall for us. We saw a practice's sign in Glorietta, strolled right in and sat right down. The ease of it all made us actually welcome the high-pitched wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyeeeeeeeeeee sound of the dentist's drill.

BRING IT!!!

SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

By my estimate, we pumped in over P100,000,000 into the Philippine economy during our short visit here (and that was just on the LLDD-Hyphen-L's shoes! haaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!). But seriously, with all the great bargains and climate-controlled malls, there were just a lot of shopping sprees to be made. You name it, we bought it: clothes, bags, ties, toiletries, clocks, snacks, accessories, filipiniana, even a high-definition camera.

You know those stories of people buying cameras or phones online and finding pictures of classified documents in them? Not sure why, but ours came pre-loaded with Showee and Metro Manila Filmfest parade pics.

AND FINALLY....DATE A HOT COLEGIALA

Kidding! Actually, not date -- be married to. And not just to a colegiala, but a newly minted MBA (Master of Bad Assery). Yes folks, the LLDD-Hyphen-L completed her grad studies, received her diploma, and is now certified at Moira MacTaggert-level. That is to say hot, smart and married to a mutant.

If only her not-as-smart-husband could figure out how to set the exposure on their new camera