4.20.2011

THE ART OF THE AIRPORT SUNDO

Long weekends and holidays in Manila mean a chance for many to fly off and visit different destinations around the world. Long weekends and holidays for FSOs in said destinations mean having to receive those people who've flown off from Manila. Now, travelling to and fro airports on pick-up duty can be a tiring and time-consuming task, but here are a few things I've learned along the way that may help take the edge off.

All this was avoidable, John

1) Get to the airport early...but not TOO early

Say you have to receive a visitor who's scheduled to arrive at 3pm. How early should you leave work and arrive at the airport? If you say, "there is no right answer, you had me at 'leave work' " -- congratulations! On the one hand, long-haul flights can make up a lot of time mid-air and actually land hours ahead of schedule (and believe me, there is no more stomach-wrenching moment than driving up to an airport and seeing your visitor's flight number as already "Arrived" up on the big-screen; you find religion that very instant).

On the other hand, no matter how early you get to an airport, you won't know what gate (or sometimes even terminal) your visitor's flight will arrive at until close to the plane's actual touchdown. For huge, sprawling airport complexes like those in London and Hong Kong, this is a very big deal. If you set up in one place too soon then learn of a different point of arrival, you have to relocate all your pang-sundo transports, go through a whole new set of security checks, run against the direction of the walkalators, etc.

My suggestion: look to arrive at an airport no more than 45-minutes ahead of a flight's ETA. This way, you won't have to stand around too long waiting for the plane to pull up, so you'll still have energy to run through the miles of gates if you have to.

Not pictured: the other goddamn 65

2) Dress for success (and easy searches)

Did I mention you're going to have to do all of the above mentioned running in full business attire? Yes, yes you are. You can't be receiving people looking like a slob or a jologs. When your VIP steps out of the plane, he/she is fully expecting a proper-looking Pinoy welcome.




Thing is, dressing up is not entirely compatible with getting through security quickly. While your VIP visitor may be high-level enough to be whisked through screenings, your sorry-ass very much has to strip and de-shoe. And every second counts when there are motorcades waiting outside.



Clooney knows what I'm talking about 


But you don't have to resort to Up in the Air-type profiling to get through security lines as fast as possible. All you need is some sensible dress-planning: wear loafers instead of lace ups; remove your belt and place in it your bag in advance; instead of searching for your keys, wallet, watch, jewelery, change, cellphone etc. from different locations on your person, place them all ahead of time in one inner pocket of the jacket/coat that your going to send through the scanner.



Break out the "special" pants from your honeymoon if you have to


And one more thing -- that airport badge that allows you special access around the place may look cool to you, but it looks like any regular staff I.D. to everyone else. So wear and flaunt it for all to see if you think it makes you look bad ass, just be prepared to answer a thousand "Excuse me, where's the duty-free bathroom?" questions from all the arriving passengers.


3) It's the car. VIPs dig the car.

So you receive a communication that says just two people are arriving at your post. Fine, you think, you can all fit in nicely in the regular Embassy car, maybe even play a little Spandau mix tape to get things comfortable. WRONG! (except the Spandau mix tape part). Never automatically assume a one person-to-one car seat space ratio. You have to find out ahead of time how long your visitors are staying at your post, where are they going once they arrive, who are they meeting up with and what do they need for that meeting -- basically as much information as you can gather to indicate how much luggage your visitors might be hauling along.

True story: during one of the foreign trips described in this here gem of a blog, I was tasked with being advance party/bearer of traditional gifts. This meant I was travelling on my own and arriving really early in the morning, hours ahead of the main party. The post receiving me apparently did not put that much thought into my arrival (and I can't blame them), so they sent two staff members in a small car to pick me up. Imagine their shock when I stepped out of the airport with three large trunkloads of official materials and presents. The trunks wouldn't fit in the car's trunk, and since there were three of us taking up seats (plus my own luggage), there was no more space left inside the car. That left the outside. Specifically, the roof.

Now, I may have failed high school physics (kaya nga nag-abogado, eh), but even I knew trunks would fall off the roof of a car the moment it left first gear. The trunks had to be tied down somehow, except we didn't have anything resembling rope in the car. After searching through the trunks, we found...a "Mabuhay!" cloth streamer meant to greet the main party arriving later in the day. It would have to do. One last problem though: the streamer wasn't quite long enough; it only went far enough to go out the car window one on side, over the top of the trunks on the roof, and back into the window on the other side -- about a foot too short for the ends to meet and make a secure knot.

And so, at 3 o'clock in the morning on a desolate highway in the middle of nowhere, an Embassy car with valuables on its roof travels at 10 kph (5 when rounding curves), while inside a desperate FSO holds on to two ends of a "Mabuhay!" streamer for dear life.


And all because an embassy wasn't aware what ride befits the LLDD


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