BEACHWATCH: NAKAKA-MANLY

So the things you need to know about Manly are:

• Next to Bondi, it's probably the most popular and well known Sydney-area beach, with a very well-developed neighborhood and it's own ferry service straight to/from the city's Central Business District

• If you were to come from the CBD via ferry and you've never been to Manly before, know that you'll be arriving at the calm, boat-filled waters of Manly cove which is not - I repeat NOT - the aforementioned popular and well known Manly beach so don't be a newbie dork like us and spend most of your day at the cove (as nice as it is) talking yourself into how Manly beach is so popular and well known and great to spend hours at when you ARE NOT EVEN AT MANLY FREAKIN' BEACH 

is this it, dada?

No, anak, that's not it!  If only your Dada had popped his head up and looked around the corner he would have seen that the ferry wharf leads to a road which leads to a lane which leads to a plaza which leads to a promenade which leads to the world-famous Manly Beach!!!

and if only your dada had done all of this well before sunset and before it was too dark and cold to swim

• but the last important thing to know about Manly is: no matter how much of a lame doofus you might feel for not finding the real beach right away, you actually feel pumped and studly walking around the place because of all the positive reinforcement everywhere telling you that just by being there, you are, in fact, goddam MANLY

hell, yeah!

So you're not just visiting any accommodation, you're staying at MANLY beach apartments. You're not just getting something to eat, you're dining at the MANLY yacht club. You're not asking for directions to the beach just anywhere, you're doing it at the MANLY police station. 

you're not just manscaping, you're...hell yeah!