MELBOURNE ULTIMATUM

Quote the LLDD-Hyphen-L, "Bago tayo umuwi kailangan natin pumunta ng Melbourne at makanood ng Australian Open!"

Twist my vaccinated arm.  Game!

But before we get to the actual tennis, allow me to give my two doses worth on the great "Is Sydney or Melbourne cooler" debate.   On the following points, the umpire rules --

ADVANTAGE SYDNEY: BEACHES. As in beauty, number and proximity of. But Melbourne does score major points for its bright bathing boxes

there's always a bigger fish

ADVANTAGE MELBOURNE: URBAN HIPNESS. Its graffiti/mural game can't be matched, ironically or otherwise

quote the LLDD-Hyphen-L, "it's ok to be pictured next to the trash" wait what 

TIE BREAK -- WE'RE ALL WINNERS: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE EXHIBITS

i for one welcome our robert overlords' age-assessment abilities

So from AI we head to AO and get to watch some Ladies' Quarterfinals matches including the eventual Champion facing a scrappy underdog 

and i get to rehash my "Fault! Not your Fault!" line over and OVER again

Two days later, we returned serve and caught the Men's Semifinal, but not before taking in some pre-show attractions including (*checks notes*) an on court performance by the former lead singer of Savage Garden

truly madly cheesy

The match itself featured the eventual Men's champion against a scrappy underdog whom most of the crowd was rooting for but whom the LLDD-Hyphen-L turned on whenever the champ would take off  his shirt during changeovers 

I would remind you sweetie na kaya lang ako hindi nagtatanggal ng shirt kasi may band-aid pa ako sa vaccination

Anyway, the Champ was at his imperious best and dispensed with his opponent as easily as his shirt

Game Set Match it is. Wala nang parating na sequel ang Melbourne identity, but we will always remember the good times we had whenever we we here, especially the sights and sounds and sweatiness of the Australian Open    

Basta Laver Sweet Lover