NAKAWALOCKDOWN: ON FOOT EDITION

So Sydney's still grappling with the rules of its hard-ish lockdown: basically, you must work/study from home UNLESS you can't PROVIDED you get some workout/wellness in everyday BUT the gyms and sports will remain closed HOWEVER you can go out for a walk/run IF you stay within 5 kilometers of your home AS LONG AS I before E EXCEPT after C.  Basically.

But s'all good, as lockdown led the fam to discover a bunch a cool places and paths that were (legal) walking distance from our neighborhood, had great Sydney views, and made for suitable escape routes in the event of a zombie apocalypse/toilet paper dystopia future.

Our compliance check-ins:

Tunks Park via Flat Rock Creek

Distance from Home/Fitbit Minutes: Hell, yeah! Maybe a 10 km walking loop and a 30-storey ascent from shore to the scenic bridge above.  

Social Distancing if Everyone Gets the Same Idea and Goes There at the Same Time: Compliant. The park's big, while the bush walk trail is narrow at parts but mostly wide enough to accommodate more than one out-of-shape widebody walking in the opposite direction.     

Toilet Paper Availability: A modest public restroom at the foot of the park. Hold it in the rest of the way.

Wendy's Secret Garden

Distance from Home/Fitbit Minutes: About 5 km round-trip, with a long, gradual uphill return.    

Social Distancing if Everyone Gets the Same Idea and Goes There at the Same Time: Despite (or maybe because of) the "Secret" in its name, Wendy's remains a popular oft-visited spot, tucked just behind the North Sydney CBD and Luna Amusement Park. Your health walk will photobomb a lot of live Instagrammers is what I'm saying.  

Toilet Paper Availability: You're never that far from some stores and shops. However, you -- like everyone else -- won't know if any of them will be open on any given lockdown day.  Hold it in.

Tunks Park onward to the Jean-Luc Trail Run

Distance from Home/Fitbit Minutes: Getting to Tunk's Park is already a 2+ km walk, then tack on another 3+ km just to circumnavigate the hilly, awesomely named Jean-Luc Trail Run.

Social Distancing if Everyone Gets the Same Idea and Goes There at the Same Time: Not too busy, as the trail appears to be more of a functional short-cut of locals rather than a recreational path for out-of-towners.  To that point...     

Toilet Paper Availability: The end of the trail leads into a posh neighborhood that gives a Get Off My Landscaped Lawn kind of vibe so, no, I wouldn't advise knocking on anyone's door and asking if you can use their bathroom.  Hold it in.

Coal Loader onto Balls Head Reserve onto Berry's Bay Lookout

Distance from Home/Fitbit Minutes: A leisurely 3+ km downhill walk to the area, consider cheating supporting the economy by taking the train back up.

Social Distancing if Everyone Gets the Same Idea and Goes There at the Same Time: Well, both the Coal Loader and the parks overlooking the Berrys and Balls Head bays are re-purposed industrial sites designed to comfortably accommodate a lot a people and are actually quite interesting places to learn about but if you accidentally unsafesearch those names tho   

Toilet Paper Availability:  Didn't notice.  Hold it in.

Berry Island Reserve

Distance from Home/Fitbit Minutes:  Same as above.  You'd think we'd be fitter by now. 

Social Distancing if Everyone Gets the Same Idea and Goes There at the Same Time:  The picnic/mini-beach area that fronted the rest of the reserve was packed the day we were there, but if you can Walking Dead Whisperers your way past the horde, you'll have a quiet, scenic, slow-zombie walk the rest of the way.  

Toilet Paper Availability:  By now, with the state roaring towards vaccination targets and itching to lift lockdown, more but still not that many local shops are open for business and bathroom usage. Hold it in a little longer

Long Reef

80% vax levels reached! Can now legally pack more than four people in a car and travel over 20 kilometers and check out a famous headland's bathroom facilities!  

Look out below! We don't have to hold it in anymore!

AHOP YOU DON'T MIND AHOP YOU DON'T MIND

Keen observers of my CarMin confirmation post would have noticed that the incumbent Consul General in Sydney was at the same hearing and confirmed as - PLOT TWIST - Ambassador to Egypt.  Yes, after just two years heading the Consulate, our boss was cross-posted/promoted to another Mission, but not before leaving a substantial legacy, including elevating our socmed graphics game...

(shout out, Canva)

...effectively steering the Consulate's PHL-AUS anniversary celebrations through a pandemic...

(there was like, literally, a halo)

...and earning the respect and admiration of the Fil-com...

(I mean, if you're someone's zoom background...) 

...whose tributes read like fine poetry, if not dope rap

BARS 

Keener observers would have also noticed that FSO and CarMin batchmate and fellow Sydney Consul ONE MAIN IDEAL was not yet part of the same confirmation hearings -- because of an administrative technicality, my nomination was submitted and considered slightly earlier than hers.   

So...

Our former boss' appointment as Ambassador to another country created a vacancy at the top of the Sydney Consulate and even though ONE MAIN IDEAL and I are exactly the same rank and she actually assumed her position here a year before I did I was technically considered more senior by like a month because of my earlier confirmation which means the Consulate's website was just updated and THIS GUY is now Acting Head of Post (AHOP) 

AHOP for the best.

I'm sure this will go well.

as all acting appointments do

LOCKDOWN HAIR DON'T CARE

Got my second stick, and other than more luscious lockdown bighair (Jestoni variant), no adverse side effects

But lockdown drags on, there's no open barber in sight, and I have to return to the 80s to find my happy hair place (Jojo Alejar preppy variant)

Symptoms worsening...

...and called out on a zoom meeting about how pathetic my mullet flow is by 75 years of Philippine-Australian relations standards

LLDD-Hyphen-L literally takes matters into her own hands, puts her Prime points to use, and stages bathroom ambush

Let's do this

Ready...set...SHAVE

Breath...

Finish strong...

VICTORY

we're on to eyebrows....

CAN'T SPELL LOYALTY AWARD WITHOUT O-L-D

Has the Batch really been at this for 15 years now? Per the Department's livestreamed anniversary celebration, yes, yes we have been here since the Consular section was a back-alley basketball court!   

Not as somber as the Oscar's In Memoriam segment, but still a solemn reminder of one's purpose, dedication, and existence before the e-passport

THE LLDD-HYPHEN-L LOOKS AT LETHARGIC LOCKDOWN LANDSCAPE, DECIDES "THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO BECOME A CERTIFIED PILATES INSTRUCTOR"

The ensuing training montage:

Buys second-hand reformer and sets up makeshift online classroom

(shout out LLDD-Baby's end-the-violins stand)

Trains daily 

(holds gun-show nightly)

Impresses practical examiners by showing teaching mastery over lamest, doughiest, most uncoordinated student available

(bitchin' Depeche Mode and Smiths needle drops student's idea, obvs)

Preaches proper nutrition/punishes student for 80s workout jam by quarantining doughnuts  hidden around house

(d'oh!)

Crushes finals, gets own studio sessions, ready to rock re-opening 

I'd define you as awesome