WHY WE DO IT

Why do we do it?

Why do we go off to remote places and faraway lands?

Why do we separate ourselves from our friends and family?

Why do we work longer hours for lesser pay?

Why do we put ourselves in harm's way?

Why do we take on the world's troubles?



We do it . . .



Because service is its own reward.

Because there's always someone out there in need.

Because we're ready and able to face the world's toughest challenges.

Because we want to help.



We also do it. . .





Because of the unexpected bathroom privileges.

Because if the wife ever falls in love with a Zara blouse but can't find one in her size, there's a network of batchmates around the world you can e-mail to help hunt the thing down: "I'm never to busy to help you with your Zara emergency!!!! NEVER TOO BUSY FOR SHOPPPING! So if (she) needs more Zara clothes...feel free to send requests. : ) You never know how happy you made me with that request. hahahaha!"

And we do it because . . .


. . . maybe . . .


. . . just maybe . . .









The cast of "Bubble Gang" will visit your post.





Any more questions?


Didn't think so.

FSO MANNY PACQUIAO FACTS

On the occasion of Chuck Norris' 69th birthday, a fellow FSO forwarded to me the comprehensive list of Chuck Norris Facts. Needless to state, I peed in my pants laughing. When I finally dried myself off, I decided to have some fun and try my hand at a few, but limiting the references to diplomacy and foreign relations. Because Chuck Norris would have wanted me to.

My original intent was to come up with more Norris diplo-facts, forward them to a couple of other FSOs, and hope they'd get on the Chuck wagon and add a couple of their own. But then it occurred to me: we're Philippine diplomats, dammit! We can't be promoting Walker Texas Ranger! Surely there's a Filipino who can equally kick ass, rock the 'stache and bring the awesome!

Behold, then: Manny Pacquiao DFA facts!

(If some of these seem too obscure, remember: there are no inside jokes; just humor Manny Pacquiao gets and you don't)

• If Manny Pacquiao were an ASEAN country, there would be no more principle of non-intervention; there would still be, however, the principle of consensus -- his.
• Manny Pacquiao could topple a Regime of Islands.
• Manny Pacquiao's passport photo is always the right shade of royal blue.
• Manny Pacquiao's First Person Notes are in the third.
• The Senate needs Manny Pacquiao's confirmation.
• Manny Pacquiao avails of the shipping container AND the 50%.
• Manny Pacquiao needs only two pillars of foreign policy: his left and right fists.
• Manny Pacquiao can tell diplomats to go to hell such that they look forward to the trip.
• Mexico set up an Assistance-to-Nationals desk to help out Manny Pacquiao's victims.
• A fair fight for Manny Pacquiao is ASEAN, Plus Three.
• Manny Pacquiao sued the U.S. for copyright infringement; "Visiting Forces" are what he's always called his left and right jabs.
• Manny Pacquiao can read an e-passport.
• Manny Pacquiao cannot assure Your Excellency of his highest esteem and consideration.
• There is no Exclusive Economic Zone, just the 200 nautical miles countries need to stay away from Manny Pacquiao.
• Manny Pacquiao will make you say ARF like a dog.
• Manny Pacquiao picks his teeth with those fixers' sticks.
• Manny Pacquiao is so fast the Home Office is still not sure if he made a personal appearance for his passport or not.
  
• Manny Pacquiao laughs at your Full Powers.
• Protocol is defined as behavior so wussy Manny Pacquiao doesn't bother to kick its ass.
• Manny Pacquiao recalled the Home Office.

By the stockings of Dela Hoya, that was fun to make!!!

No, Manny. Para sa 'yo.

NOW THIS IS A FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE!....UPDATED!

Bells rang, birds sang, the sun shone, friends laughed, children played, families dined, the LLDD-Hyphen-L glowed, and I proved once and for all that Star Wars fans can know the touch of a woman.

It was a beautiful day.

To everyone who was there, our heartfelt thanks. To those who weren't, so help me if your gift isn't on the way yet I will hog-tie and force you to look through a staggering amount of wedding albums and baby pictures the next time we meet.

Until then, enjoy:

The Pre-Nup Pictures

From Sketch to Storage, The Evolution of Gown

The "Lost" Homemade Slideshow that Didn't Get Played Because of Technical Difficulties

The Onsite Photo Feature that Y'all Get to Enjoy for Free but which We're Hoping Marie Claire will Pay Us One Million For

The "Bonus" Wedding Video that Wasn't Really Part of Our Coverage Package but We Like to Think Still Got Made Because We Were Such a Hot Couple.

The Too-Cute-For-Words Fil-Aussie Flower Girl Pretending to Sing Along with the Tagalog Offertory Song

All the Guests' Partypics Souvenir Photos

Honeymooners' Pics Where We Could Only Look Happier if We Wore Matching-Themed outfits like Koreans

Gratuitous Bikini Pics of the LLDD-Hyphen-L, for those of You Out There I Just Know are Wedding-to-Engagement Backcounting

And, of course, a Little Something for the Ladies

LLDDL'S BEST FRIEND HOLDS BEAUTIFUL TAGAYTAY WEDDING; LLDDL RESPONDS "OH, IT IS SO ON NOW!!!"

Seriously, who doesn't love Tagaytay? The drive is easy, the air is cool, the resto-shops are funky, and the view is the view. It's a must-stop for any tourist, a perfect place for a weekend home, a picturesque playground for the beautiful people. Our version of the Hamptons.

(OK, I've never technically been to the Hamptons, but I've read through every Martha Stewart magazine in Veluz's waiting room - twice - and thereby feel more than qualified to talk about it)

So when one of the LLDDL's best friends said she'd be holding her wedding at a place called Casa Blanca in Tagaytay, we were there. (although, really, she had us at "buffet".) Now, I know what you're thinking: Bride Wars. You know, friend throws a great wedding, LLDDL wants to respond in kind, eyebrows are raised, tongues are wagged, hilarity ensues. (or, if the guys are lucky, pudding-dessert wrestling!)

But no, there was none of that here (dammit). The LLDDL and the bride were dear friends from way back, the bride's mom one of our ninangs, and the groom a fellow child of 80's music. It was just one of those occasions where every girl was just so happy and nothing in the world could ruin the day for them, while guys were left to hope a tipsy bridesmaid would fall into the pool.

But seriously, there's no ill-will from the LLDDL at all. She'll even be the one to show you around. . .



. . . here's the viewdeck. . .



. . .here's the church fountain. . .



. . .here are the bride and the bridesmaids. . .



. . . and here's the (ahem) aforementioned pool.

(look, the guys drove for hours. . . there was an open bar. . .maybe somebody walks too close to the edge. . .I'm just saying, ladies)



See? Not a hint of anything wrong between the LLDDL and the bride. Just look at that angel face.



Actually, it was me who had reason to be jealous! (soooooo, sweetie...who's the dude? His bicep firmer than mine?)

And then, of course, was the cute end to every wedding: people picking apart and taking home the floral centerpieces. . .



. . . unless it's done by those creepy Pepe Le Pew types who hang around these things.

(Oh, bon jour bebe. . .You like les fleurs, oui?)

In the end, Bride Wars or no, this will be hard to top.

SUPPLIER SHOUT-OUTS

As the big day approaches, the LLDDL and I want to give thanks in advance to just some of the many people working very hard to ensure that our wedding day will be as meaningful and memorable as when Leia awarded those medals to Han and Luke. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and rest assured that when I'm at Post, I'll recommend that all y'all be invited to every nearby International Bridal Fair. After all, why should Pinoy guys be the only ones to have to suffer through those?

Kidding! Just kidding, sweetie! I enjoyed every bridal fair we went to!

(...every...single...weekly...bridal fair)

(BTW, after the wedding, the LLDDL will be addressed as the LLDD-hyphen-L)

Gown by Veluz

I'll be honest: I had never heard of Veluz -- or any other bridal designer for that matter -- prior to all of these wedding preps. (I'm a guy, sue me.) I do, however, know enough to know that the gown is the one thing that the bride must be perfectly happy with; the one thing we had to get right. So choosing the right designer was a big responsibility that caused a lot of anxiety and trepidation. Like choosing a child's school, I suppose. Or a proctologist. (um, so I've heard)

All our fears, however, were soon erased. I had two simple metrics for ascertaining how happy the LLDDL was with Veluz: A) could you wipe the smile off the LLDDL's face during/hours after every fitting?

That would be no.

. . . and B) is the design studio filled, not just with the future brides, but with their future husbands? In Veluz's case, there was always a steady stream of current and future clients, all with grooms in tow on their absolute best behavior. The mere fact that men were there (and not, say, waiting outside in the car playing PSP) told me everyone realized the brides-to-be were so very happy that Veluz was making their gowns that us fellas better just sit quietly and not do anything to screw this up or there'd be hell to pay. So sit quietly every dude did. For hours.

Stay strong, my brothers.

Hair and Make-up by Jesie and Raymond

Again, as the top photo shows, you simply couldn't remove the smile off the LLDDL's face throughout the whole process, and that was all I needed to know. On the other hand, the waiting area was strangely devoid of menfolk, despite the presence of a comfy couch, flat-screen TV and DVD player.

On closer inspection, all was revealed: the shelf had an alarmingly high rate of discs that appear in The Definitive List of DVDs No Dude can have in Their Collection.

No Seagal? No Requiestas? Tsk.

Barong(s) by Armie

Near my apartment, on the street I pass through every day to get to work, was this small boutique I never noticed, wedged somewhere between a bank and a motorcycle shop. Fortunately, the LLDDL had a natural-born talent for spotting window-display dummies from kilometers away, so one day we just looked for the store and walked in -- and happily discovered an absolute treasure trove of great Filipiniana. The owner could hook you up with pure, uncut piña straight from Laguna (you know, the good stuff). Heck, the materials were so fine, I had two barongs made, and will just make a game-time decision on which one to wear on the day itself.

Which led the LLDDL to exclaim, "Hoy! Bakit ikaw ang may Second Look?!"

Entourage by Baby

Is there any clothing and textile emergency on earth that can't be solved by a quick trip to Divisoria? I say no.

(I may or may not ask the LLDDL to wear something like this on the honeymoon.)

Photos by Jayson

I'll be honest once more: I dreaded the Pre-nup. For someone with self-diagnosed social anxiety disorder like me, the thought of going through Guy and Pip poses in public was not appealing at all. And as my older married sister put it, "In my time, we didn't have a Pre-nup. We just had a Nup."

This is where the LLDDL's inspired choice of a young, cool, extremely nice-guy photographer came in. Jayson immediately put us at ease, telling stories, cracking jokes, and generally making us feel as comfortable as possible. Before long, we didn't notice the camera pointed at us, or even all the point-and-snicker passers-by in the area. (still...Frak all of you!) And as the day went on, it just got more and more fun and enjoyable. Jayson even allowed us to channel our inner model and go through some goofy fashionista poses for the heck of it. Needless to say, the LLDDL nailed every "fierce" or "pouty" look asked of her, whereas my modeling range was somewhat more limited . . .

... from the "Smell the Fart"...

... to the "Constipated"...

... to the "Angrily Constipated".

Regardless of my patent Zoolander limitations, however, I have no regrets going through the Pre-nup shoot. Aside from the sheer fun of the whole thing, the LLDDL and I now have a DVD-full of romantic/dramatic/hilarious photos that we can take with us for the rest of our lives.

Hell yeah.

Wedding Related Postscript -- one of the best things about wedding preps is being able to reconnect with old friends during the distribution of the invitations. You get to see how fat people are getting, catch up on some gossip, and be asked to go inside their homes. In the case of "Yagballs", my old college buddy/kumpare/co-fantasy league manager, I was invited to check out his paintball collection. I thought, "cool", and expected to see a few interesting pieces. More appropriately, I should have thought "Tremors" and cried "Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!!!"

In his defense, "Yagballs" insists this is the way you get ready for marriage.