THERE'S A BODY OF WATER UP IN SCOTLAND CALLED THE FIRTH OF FORTH

Meanwhile, in my fantasy leagues this year, I got two Thirds and a Fifth.

That's it.  That's I all got.

Uwing-uwi na ako.

THE THREE (WELL-FED) LIONS

Once upon a time, there was a group of...um..."well-rounded" officemates who thought watching football and other London sporting events counted as their exercise for the year.

They lived happily ever after.

(their waistlines...ehh)

England v Denmark

Hero/Villain - England's lackluster performance.   They won, but a good sporting rule of thumb we discovered while watching: the quality of the play on the pitch is inversely proportional to the intensity and duration of the Mexican wave in the stands.

Tour De France

Hero/Villain - The Million MAMIL March.  There are some things you just can't unsee.

Falcons v Lions

Hero / Villain - Through coaching luck/incompetence, this actually turned out to be the closest NFL London game ever.   More riveting still was the awkward clash of American and European sporting event cultures.   I doubt, for instance, any NFL franchise would keep a bored-looking hipster techno DJ in house during games...

 What would Raider Nation think?

...or try to pump up the crowd by having the the pre-game show done by the host of the local Family Feud...

Survey says: wait, who what now?

On the other hand, I don't think soccer fans in say, Stoke, really need Samuel L. Jackson screaming at them throughout the match to "Rise Up!"   

 Not even as Mace Windu?

On the other other hand, I think every EPL team would do well to bring in some American-style cheerleading for matches.

 As well as a Hooters restaurant that magically pops-up in the stadium parking lot at 9:00 a.m. on gameday

Speaking of restaurants, I'm guessing British stadium food may not be a hit with, say, Green Bay Cheeseheads.

And lastly, some European fans may want to re-think their player jersey choices

Unless they were wearing them ironically or were gifts from a clueless distant aunt, in either case: respect 

Bucks v Knicks

Hero / Villain - Easy: New York.  The Knicks took six minutes to score their first point and were down 20+ by the end of the first quarter. Their fans in our row kept on trying to start a "Let's Go Knicks!" chant but were roundly ignored, so they (and I'm not making this up) resorted to stealing the beers of the people in front of them and nearly starting a fistfight.  

Saracens v Harlequins

Hero / Villain - This one's on me. I was the one who was able to get tickets for everyone on Groupon, yet because of unfortunate timing, I was the one who was not able to see the match and take a gameday selfie.  Just as well, as it turned out to be an uncompelling rout.   To make up some excitement, may I just introduce to those outside of the UK the majestically named rugby scandal, Bloodgate.   

Brazil v Chile

Hero / Villain - The great seats!  I didn't think I'd ever in my life be able to watch the Seleção -- let alone up close and for a reasonable price! And from so near, you realize how young and choirboyish looking Neymar, Oscar, Coutinho et al are, which in turn may explain why Chile spent the whole game hacking at the Brazilian stars and turning it into a slow-moving foulfest. There was still a happy ending to the day, though, as the street food in the neighborhoods leading back to the Tube proved muito delicioso.

The Lions slept well that night.

CONSULAR CLICK-BAIT IF THERE EVER WAS ONE . . .

Posted by British Embassy Manila on Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Still, good to know that governments around the world have come together to ban the duckface

AS THE BRITS LIKE TO SAY, "YOU WAIT AGES FOR A BUS, AND THEN THREE COME ALONG AT ONCE"

Excuse me, lang 'ha. Our dear old "Friends" have already replaced the former 3-province "More Fun" buses...with over 100 new ones that will run throughout London for a full year and feature a lot more destinations! Just last week, I was having a lunch meeting at a restaurant along a main street near the Embassy, and I counted no less than 12 of these beauties pass by the window where I was sat -- which means either: 1) the campaign is totally effective; 2) I took a "Mad Men" length cocktail lunch; or 3) I wasn't really paying any attention to my lunchmates  and was just staring out the window.

Or all three at once!

   

And, oh, what's that?  You're too posh to bus and only take cabs?   Here, have five...

We have lots more where that came from.  Get uber it.

But what about the Welsh football fan demographic?  Oh please won't someone think of the Welsh football fan demographic...

Posted by The Philippine Embassy, London on Thursday, March 26, 2015

Wales done!

SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON'S GALLERIA

Yeah, I know, Philippine malls have skating rinks and winter wonderlands now, and London gets feeble flurries or the wrong kind of snow from time to time.  But I wanted the LLDD-Baby to experience before I was recalled the real good stuff -- pure, uncut, deep dish i-snow. Fortunately "Sunshine" -- a close colleague from my days working in "Pardek's" office and now posted in Geneva -- had an extra room in her chalet and could put us up for a holiday weekend.  So swish over to Swisherland we go!  The LLDD-Baby was pumped!  She wouldn't stop waving her hand and singing "Let it Go"!

Geneva Cruise

But for one tiiiiiiny detail: I didn't check the global weather reports beforehand to see if Geneva did still in fact have, you know, snow.  

It didn't. 

(hey, it was February in Switzerland -- I'm from the tropics, I thought there'd be tons of it lying around!)

So, um, LLDD-Baby...this is awkward...you up for just going around Geneva on foot and by boat like Daddy did years ago?  You know, across the distinctly unfrozen and not-snowed-over lake?  You are?  Love you anak. 

 

 

 

 You've been cool about all this no snow thing.  Pag-uwi natin, Daddy will buy an Elsa gown for you (and some Prince Hans tights...for mama ; ) 

Saved by Salève

But hang on...."Sunshine" to the rescue!  She could hook us up with a nearby snowy mountaintop! Apparently, Mont Salève on the Swiss-French border is just a short local bus and cable-car ride away! Salamat Salève!

Salève, of course, is French for "kanya kanya na tayo pababa!"

What's Zermatt-er with you?

Salève was great for getting our snow on, but now we wanted even more.  "Sunshine" recommended taking a long train ride to Zermatt, the world-famous ski destination that sits in the majestic shadow of the one and only Toblerone Matterhorn.   We found the resort town itself to be quite lovely and posh (although my only point of reference is "Hot Tub Time Machine") but, unfortunately, as you headed up to the vistas there was too much snow, i.e., there were total whiteout conditions that rendered the mountain ranges near invisible and Matterhorn-framed-in-the-middle-of-hands-in-the-shape-of-a-heart tourist photos futile.                

 

On the other hand, the Battle of Hoth re-enactments were adorable

Release the Trubschachen

Looking back at it now, our whole Swiss sojourn was a series of slip-ups and saves.  Take the last things on our Swiss list: cheese and chocolate factory tours in the Gruyere region.  Once again, the LLDD-Baby was pumped for this. However, it turned out the cheese place was only worth visiting in the early hours when milk was delivered, while the chocolate factory was freakin' closed for renovation the day we planned to be there. Quick re-adjustments had to be made, so we found ourselves heading to the town of Trubschachen instead to visit the factory of a well-known brand of biscuits, and then back to Geneva for some fondue.  Not quite the same, we know, but the train ride views were pleasant enough and the biscuits were covered in a satisfactory amount of chocolate.

      And did I mention, anak, that fondue is cheese with alcohol?  Yeah, Switzerland is great.