HOLY SUBIC!

So the LLDDL and I were showering together in front of some nuns….

No, really.

To backtrack a bit, I’ve been on a world traveling cold-streak lately. There have been at least three foreign trips that I was supposed to join, but was pulled from at the last second. So much for that winter coat I bought.

Still, no worries. No trips mean a semblance of a schedule and more time for domestic pursuits (my last trip abroad absolutely killed my office volleyball league participation; that, and my inability to bend down because of stomach flab).

So what better way to re-connect locally than with a beach barbecue with the LLDDL’s extended family and friends? I get to see Subic for the first time in almost 10 years, splash around a bit, and splurge on duty-free junk food (because, you know, it’s not like there’s duty-free abroad).

Subic actually hasn’t changed much over the years. The heavy industries seem to be humming along nicely, but the retail places are harder to figure out. Some places have conspicuously shut down, but new hotels and shops are also being put up; some shops and attractions are teeming with people, while others can’t seem to reach critical mass. Hopefully, the new Clark-Subic expressway will be finished soon and shake things up a bit.

Anyway, the LLDDL’s clan and I stayed at a small beach house at the All-Hands Beach, ready to party. Imagine our…um…uneasiness when we see that the place right next to ours is overflowing…with nuns! So much for the planned drinking and speedos (actually, there was still some beer and karaoke, but neither was to excess, and definitely no rendition of “Bootylicious”).

So what wakes us up early the following morning? HOWLS of rowdy and raucous laughter… from the nuns!!! They were screaming, sitting and pounding on tables, and playing cards!!! You go, sisters!

They also placed themselves smack in the middle of the beach dining area and right next to the outdoor shower tower. So every beach swimmer that rinsed off – including the LLDDL and myself – did so in direct full view of the party nuns! It actually could’ve been even more awkward, except they never looked up from their card game!

So maybe that should be Subic’s hook: what happens in Subic, stays between you and the Lord.

Just ask the sistahs!

All-Hands beach. Simple, unpretentious place. Great for cheap college barkada getaways. Lots of Korean tourists (alas, no matching outfits). Also, the return of the shorts-and-t-shirt-as-swimwear Filipinas!

I've been trying to get rid of my spare tire for, like, forever

Meanwhile, the LLDDL discovers the duty-free shops and calls in reinforcements

Beach Barbecue, Pinoy style: Pork BBQ with fat, corn on the cob and bangus. THAT'S what I'm talking about!

As the food she's cooking catches fire, the LLDDL makes a desperate cry for help

A hot lifeguard attempts to push a beached whale back into open water

Sister Mary Teresa : Read 'em and weep, ladies!

Sister Mary Rose : I knew I shouldn't have gone all-in on the flop with an inside straight.

One of the newer attractions: zip lines and hanging bridges between treep tops. I would've loved to have gone on them, but some office team-building activity got there ahead of us and we would have had to wait for 3 hours. Next time.

The LLDD's strained smile betrays the sheer terror of being so high up on a rickety bridge ("hey guys, this thing can take 170 pounds right? Right?!")

A Jungle Survival instructor teaches us how to build a fire, cook rice and trap a lizard with nothing more than a knife, some bamboo and a smile. He was funny and interesting, but you just know the aspiring actor, the retired police officer and the bimbo with the fake breasts will vote him out at the next tribal council.

ummm....I can explain this

A butterfly gets it on with a flower at the insectarium

Meanwhile, a couple of leaf-like insects get a little too friendly with the LLDD's nips.