You've heard of a "Googleganger"? It's someone well-known who happens to share your name on the web, so that any time people try to Google you, its the other person who pops up. It's a real problem for people trying to establish themselves online but who have a Googleganger who's far more popular. Or a pornstar.
I already gave up using my real name on the web because my Googleganger is some hotshot skateboarder with a gazillion fansites. I'd use my complete name, but it rearranges into "Good! Amaze Monumental Chunk!", and I can't handle an anagram telling me I'm fat. I just can't.
So I had high hopes for "Lame Lawyer / Dorky Diplomat." Like I said in my first blog post, how many of us could there be? (even including Warren Christopher)
Imagine, then, the sick feeling in my stomach when I recently discovered there was a ... (gasp!) ... "www.lamelawyer.com"
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Not only does it exist, it kicks the LLDD's ass. Consider:
*** Its avowed purpose: to expose the seedy underbelly of that notorious global hotbed of legal shenanigans. . .um. . .Adams County, Illinois. Don't take my word for it, hear what lamelawyer has to say:
"Here you will find legal info pertaining to issues of practicing attorneys and how some of the selected few have a tendency to play nice with each other and cover for each others misconduct while bilking their clients with bogus legal fees. This site is for cases and situations where lawyering itself, and a lawyer's questionable billing practices may be at stake or thrown 'under the light'. Additionally, this site is owned and operated by one that embraces what others fear."
Right there, I'm screwed. I do not embrace what others fear. I FEAR what others fear! Those others are usually on to something!
*** Not only does lamelawyer have an FAQ, it's far more entertaining than anything I have ever written. A sample:
A. The Roman empire set the framework for modern law as we know of it. Latin was the language of the Romans and at one time they wanted everyone to think and act as they did. In some degree, if you practice law, you're thinking as a roman did. That's one of the reasons that today's lawyers love throwing latin phrases around in an attempt to make themselves look "smart" and to possibly get you to think like they do.
My finding is that using and learning latin really helps in a mnemonic fashion to "hotkey" legal terms. For instance, one word can represent one sentence or phrase as It's a very succinct language in nature, and seems to come in handy when you're pressed for time (in a foot dragging legal system). It levels things out "time wise". Or it can make getting your point across an efficient process. For example, try saying "toy boat" three times really fast. Then say it in latin three times "logica navis navis". See? It does make communication easier and more efficient. Try it in the drive thru sometime.
(I did try it in a drive thru! All the girl in Jollibee had to say was, "Sir, willing to wait?")
*** Lamelawyer says there are 127 lawyers in Adams County. That means the site has at least 126 more readers than I do! (although to be fair, lamelawyer admits "the number is subject to change due to the aging population of those licensed to practice")
So case closed. I ain't messing with lamelawyer. From now on, I'm just LLDD (like Kentucky is now KFC). If he comes looking for me, tell him ego sursum lex pro skateboarding*
(* I gave up law for skateboarding)
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