Late May in the U.S. means crazy weather and quality basketball. Late May in the Home Office means crazy weather, and some sort of game where ten guys in baggy, intellectual-property violating uniforms sprint (no, that’s not quite it) … jog (nope, still not right) … walk briskly (there you go) up and down a concrete floor waiting for a ball to bounce towards them at just the right height so they won’t have to bend over and sprain something.
That’s right, it’s that time of the year for the quintessential Pinoy community-sporting experience, the Liga!
Now, I’ve been joining ligas since I was in grade school, and have been part of maybe 20 different teams (18 losing) over the years. So I think I’m qualified to say the Home Office version faithfully upholds some of the most cherished liga principles:
Rule 1: The court will never be totally flat / will slope towards one end
I swear, this is not just camera perspective; the Home Office court is really this lopsided. It would be a total disadvantage for the team playing uphill, but for Rule number 2.
Rule 2: One body width from the baseline will be a wall / large solid object that will absolutely crush any out-of-control player on the fastbreak.
In case of the Home Office, there’s a photography studio van (don’t ask) permanently parked at the near court; it should just as well double as a mobile x-ray truck for all the cracked ribs it’s caused.
Rule 3: The Opening Ceremony parade will have muses, sometimes awkwardly so.
During the liga a few years ago, one of the teams pulled a prank and hired several employees of (I suspect) a nearby bar to serve as their muses. What was funny was, during the sportsmanship pledge, the bar employees – in total seriousness and in full evening / cocktail wear - thought it appropriate to also raise their right hands and take an oath of sportsmanship along with everyone else. Try picturing that for a moment.
During the liga a few years ago, one of the teams pulled a prank and hired several employees of (I suspect) a nearby bar to serve as their muses. What was funny was, during the sportsmanship pledge, the bar employees – in total seriousness and in full evening / cocktail wear - thought it appropriate to also raise their right hands and take an oath of sportsmanship along with everyone else. Try picturing that for a moment.
Rule 4: The team with the winning record will always have more players show up for games than can possibly play, while the team with the losing record will just have enough players so as not to forfeit and pay a fine.
Guess which my team is!
Guess which my team is!
Rule 5: There will always be a table official who's also a scorekeeper / play-by-play announcer / comedian.
Thank you, thank you. He's here all week.
The Home Office. Where something resembling basketball happens.
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