THE TWELVE DAYS OF FOREIGN SERVICE POST CHRISTMAS GREETINGS

On the First Day of Christmas, Abuja gave to me
A Human Christmas Tree.




On the Second Day of Christmas, Madrid gave to me
Two Merged Missions . . . (nakisabay pa ang Barcelona PCG!)




On the Third Day of Christmas, New York gave to me
A Three-part Memo . . .




On the Fourth Day of Christmas, Oslo gave to me
Four Levels of Red . . .




On the Fifth Day of Christmas, Prague gave to me
Five Photocopieeeeeees . . .




On the Sixth day of Christmas, Amman gave to me
Six Desert Pictures. . .




On the Seventh Day of Christmas, Barcelona gave to me
Seven in a Ball . . . (ah, may sarili naman pala sila)




On the Eight Day of Christmas, Dili gave to me
Eight Finding Nemos . . .




On the Ninth Day of Christmas, Stockholm gave to me
Nine on a Couch . . .




On the Tenth Day of Christmas, Havana gave to me
Ten Shirts na Nag-match (at isang hindi!)

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, Berne gave to me

Eleven "Idol" Finalists

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, Canberra gave to me

Twelve "Wacky" Poses . . .



Eleven "Idol" Finalists

Ten Shirts na Nag-match (at isang hindi!)

Nine on a Couch

Eight Finding Nemos

Seven in a Ball (ah, may sarili naman pala sila)

Six Desert Pics

Five Photocopieeeeeeeeees

Four Levels of Red

A Three-part Memo

Two Merged Missions (nakisabay pa ang Barcelona PCG!)

And a Humaaaaaan Chriiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaas Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(That was Bloody Brilliant. You're Going to Hollywood)

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW : ADVENTURES IN PRONUNCIATION

No kidding, there's actually a BBC Pronunciation Department, and they've called me up several times over the past year for help with certain Tagalog words (apparently they have a soap opera with a Filipino character in it). You may recall the Tsaang Gubat and "Lots of Love" incidents before, but my favorite calls from the BBC remain their requests for the correct pronunciation of some - in their words - "ethnic tribe" character names. My top three are:

3. Magbanua

2. Roselyn

1. Kagawad

So good on the BBC for wanting to get pronunciations right, but what I really want is to meet the scriptwriters who decided on Roselyn as the best "ethnic tribe" name out there!

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW : TOP FOUR WALKS IN LONDON

And by "top four", I mean "the only four times since I arrived in London that I got off my big butt and did something that might pass as exercise."

4. Thames River Path

Had not the LLDD-Hyphen-L gotten on a wrong local bus (in search of the neighborhood "Zara Express" urban legend), I might have never discovered that near our flat is a beautiful riverside path traversing the "Cheese Whiz" neighborhood on one side and a posh area called Richmond on the other side. How stark is the contrast between "Cheese Whiz" (where we live) and rich Richmond across the river? Put it this way: on the Richmond side, there's a riverbank park that features locals who picnic, drink wine and play cricket; on the "Cheese Whiz" side, there's a boat with a figurehead of Grace Jones.

3. Southbank Loop

Charge it to being OC, but I like my walks perfectly linear, i.e., I want to be able to see everything there is to see without having to walk down the same path more than once. I just don't like any forth-and-back. Thus, I thoroughly enjoyed walking from Monument (views) to London Bridge (more views) to Borough market (food) to Southwark Cathedral (people eating food) to Shakespeare's Globe (art) to Tate Modern (art?) to the Millenium bridge (wobbling views) to St. Paul's Cathedral (tourists) in a nice, tight non-repetitive closed loop. (my OC, by the way, also accounts for my preference of Megamall and MOA over Glorietta and TriNoMa; just so you know where to take me for a walk when I come home)

(click here for full gallery)

2. Parliament-to-Greenwich Hike

Oh, the agony of the feet! I joined several foreign diplomats on a Big Ben-to-Greenwich Observatory trek along the Thames that was described by the organizer as nine-kilometers long. Turns out, it was nine miles! Just as well that the walk finished at the Prime Meridian, because I wanted those four hours of my life back!

(click here for full gallery)

1. Walk for Charity

The wife of an ambassador recently went on a noble 60-mile charity walk to raise funds for children back home. The walk started from the Embassy doorstep very early on a Saturday morning, and the joke then was that everyone would join and walk until the nearest McDonald's. I, off course, never kid whenever the possibility of breakfast pancakes is involved, and actually set off with the charity-walker in the direction of the Westminster McDo thinking everyone would do the same -- only to find when I looked over my shoulder that none of my companions even went beyond the Embassy corner.

My revenge: a Philippine newspaper's photo caption reporting the event's great success made it appear that I finished the 60-mile trip alongside the charity walker. Who needs exercise!

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW : KICK-ASSINGEST TUBE STOP NAMES

Simply put, there are some tube stops that are so awesomely named that I get pumped just by hearing recorded voice-lady going "The next station is . . ."

I mean, who wouldn't want say they live in Knightsbridge, or contstantly yell "It's Hammer Time!" whenever the stop above approaches?!

On the other hand, there are those other stations whose nam---

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WEATHER ALERT!

We interrupt this blog for some breaking weather news. Our dork on the ground, using the most sophisticated weather equipment available...

...is confirming that snow is indeed falling for the first time this year outside the Embassy. The snowfall was greeted with mixed reactions at nearby Trafalgar Square, with some groups breaking out into song...

...while the neighboring camped-out climate change activists and polar bear from "Lost" seemed ironically taken by suprise.

We now return to regular programming in progress

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---nd I'm sure you'll agree from all the foregoing reasons I just comprehensively laid out, these following stations should be mentioned in another category altogether.

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW : CELEBRITY SHOWDOWN EDITION

Yes folks, it's that time again when I dump unused. . .er, list down the best photos and videos I took over the past year. First up: we determine whether the LLDD-Hyphen-L or myself had the best elbow-rubbingly moments with celebrities.


Round One : Pinoy Tandems

LLDD-Hyphen-L --- Chico and Delamar

Me --- Sarah Geronimo and Billie Joe Crawford

Analysis: I just got pulled into S & BJ's very entertaining UK show by accident, whereas the LLDD-Hyphen-L actually earned her face time with C & D by elucidating over the radio on the biggest issue of our time: Do you want Edward or Jacob for Bella?

Advantage: LLDD-Hyphen-L. She so thoroughly enjoyed the "New Moon" premiere tickets that she won that she's now made it very clear that my happiness over the holidays directly depends on how many times I re-watch the two "Twilight" movies with her.

(help me)

Round Two : Giants of Literature

LLDD-Hyphen-L --- The Guy Who's Now Playing Sherlock Holmes
Me --- The Author of "Superfreakanomics"

Analysis: Actually, forget Sherlock Holmes . . . that's freakin' Iron Man! On the other hand, I got to continually hum Rick James to myself throughout the "Superfreakanomics" lecture.

Advantage: None, although the LLDD-Hyphen-L would like to point out that on the same night she scoped Sherlock, she also saw Jude Law in the park square, Kiera Knightley on the stage and, for whatever reason, Gwen Stefani directly in front of the McDonald's window where we were eating.

Round Three : Personal Idols

LLDD-Hyphen-L --- Sarah Jessica Parker

Me --- A Statue of Bumblebee


Analysis: OK, clearly I'm grasping at straws in this round as my idol isn't even alive, or for that matter capable of basic movement. SJP, however, antagonized the LLDD-Hyphen-L by coming out in a mini-dress despite the freezing weather and showing off, in the LLDD-Hyphen-L's words, "Na mas maliit ang bewang at binti nya kesa sa akin! Itsura nya! Hmp!"

Advantage: Me. See, that's the thing about having an inanimate idol. You won't hear me hissing that my forehead is wider and more shiny than an Autobot.

WINNER : As always, the LLDD-Hyphen-L. If you recall the last post, she actually got the fondle Hugh Grant.

Whereas the closest I've gotten to caressing a celebrity is running my hand up and down the smooth, smooth Hogwarts staircase.

OH MY GOD, THAT'S THE LLDD-HYPHEN-L'S MUSIC!!!

She's. . .she's back!!! And on the same week UK retailers report strong growth! Coincidence?

And not only that, she immediately sets out improving RP-UK relations. Thus, on her very first trip back to the embassy, she gets up close and personal with (someone who played) the British Prime Minister. How close?

This freakin' close!!!

To hear it from the LLDD-Hyphen-L, Hugh "The Man" Grant spotted her in the crowd, came up to her and shook her hand before anyone else. Her only regret was that she failed to break out into "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy . . ."

That, and she forgot to take her gloves off whilst shaking his hand.

Anyway, the LLDD-Hyphen-L's return signals a paradigm shift in my ways. First of all, there will be more couples stuff and less 80s concerts / comic-cons (although I hold out hope for a Bobba Fett-Princess Leia gold bikini date next Halloween). Secondly, as I actually have someone to go out with now, blog posts henceforth will be short and no longer drafted on pathetically alone, er, incredibly productive weekend nights. Lastly, let's face it, my wild and decadent party days are over.

Pictured: my wild and decadent party days

Welcome back, sweetie! Hindi na maginaw ang pasko, and all that!