There are no coincidences. As much was said in both "Star Wars" and "Kung Fu Panda" (two of my go-to philosophical references). It was no accident then that the same week I came home from work and discovered the LLDD-Hyphen-L had redeemed her cellphone service's rewards points to get me a freaking lightsaber...
...at the same time expressing concern over my safety playing with it...
...was the very same week the Embassy inaugurated a gym in London that taught Eskrima!
Hell, yeah!! Make no mistake, Eskrima is fraking metal. To death. As much was said by two of my other authorities on philosophy, Cracked and...um...Ashton Kutcher during the London premiere of the chick-flick/rom-com totally an action movie "Killers". The new London gym was opened by a club I've mentioned before called Doce Pares who have long been spreading the Eskrima word around the UK. That and ass-whuppings.
although they really should fix that leak in their roof
Now, Doce Pares did not deem it safe for me to take part in the eskrima demonstrations and just be flailing sticks around the room and nailing children in the head and whatever. Fine. But like I said at the start: there are no coincidences; everything is there for a reason. Thus, my mere presence at the gym's opening significantly raised my lightsaber fighting-skill level from "beginner" to "dork." More specifically, the spectacular Pinoy lechon-handaan laid out at the opening worked to sharpen my offensive moves. . .
. . .while Doce Pares' insistence that I bring the LLDD-Hyphen-L along to the gym allowed me to hone my defensive technique by recreating a weaponized typical night in the LLDD household. . .
The result - well, you and your lame untrained eyes tell me. Can you honestly see any difference between Doce Pares' star student with his olisi. . .
. . .and me with my lightsaber?
Of course not! It was dark! How could you!? But I don't think any camera could capture my speed and awesomeness anyway. The important things to take out of this are: 1) there are no coincidences; and 2) thanks to Doce Pares, those geekfans are so dead when I go to next year's ComiCon.
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