RIZAL DAY RUCKUS

In honor of Rizal day, I give you not one, but two versions of the Philippine national anthem. Spot the solid 9 on the unintentional comedy scale:

(A) the LLDD's nephews . . . .

. . . or, (B) this gem

The correct answer, of course, is "B". I'm sorry, I know the makers meant well, but at all the moviehouses I've been to where this version is shown, the crowd breaks out in uncontrollable giggling around the 50 second mark. Maybe its the "full-emote" acting, maybe its the flaring nostrils, maybe its the megamoussed hair, can't really tell. I won't know for sure until I show up at the Department's next flag ceremony singing the anthem in a white unbuttoned shirt and tight tank top with wind machine in tow.

(And you'll forgive my nephews for flubbing some lyrics. They're in pre-school for crying out loud! What's Christian Bautista's excuse?)

That's right, baby boy. I'd hide, too

IN WITH THE NEW YEAR, OUT WITH THE OLD BATCHMATES

Most Philippine Christmas office parties are fairly predictable: lame emcees, poorly rehearsed dance numbers, cheesy door prizes, awkward silences after jokes about the size of the annual bonus. Not that there's anything wrong with these, but we're a long way away from the alcohol and mistletoe induced party debauchery depicted by Hollywood (and those have to be accurate, right?)

Christmastime at the foreign service home office has an added poignancy to it. Because personnel deployments usually take place at the start of the calendar year, Christmas parties often also double as despedidas. This makes for some pretty emotional gift-giving, especially when you realize your Secret Santa didn't get you anything and just left for a six-year foreign assignment.

(you can run Secret Santa, but I will find you...)

Last Christmas, two batchmates left for their postings: ORATE EAR to Kuwait and DRAGON LEE AX to Australia. I take it from their subsequent infrequent communications that they're very busy and happy where they are . . . or are just embarrased and want nothing to do with the rest of the batch anymore =)

This year, I gave warm season's greetings send-offs to two other batchmates, former seatmates and fellow U.P. lame lawyers. . .

. . . MASCARA ZERO PIT, who's off to Guam (Lord help the Baywalk Bodies if they try anything there again on her watch). . .

. . . and ABHORRENT ROTTEN ODD ASS, who's off to Israel (and enjoyed his last Papa-pose)

See ya around y'all! Can't wait for your Christmas cards!

IT'S SUNDAY, I MUST BE IN KUWAIT...OH WAIT, I'M HEADING HOME...NOPE, I'M STAYING...HOLD ON...

It was all just a blur.

First, I’m put on standby for an important trip to Kuwait. Then I’m told to cancel my booking. Then I learn at the last minute that my trip would push through. Then I find out I’d be flying in and out for just a few hours. Then, when I join everyone onboard the return flight and wait for takeoff, the pilot announces we’d all be staying overnight and should get off, pronto.

(pause while I gasp for breath)

In the end, it was all worthwhile as we accomplished our mission and headed home happy.

But the things we had to do that extra night with no spare shirts, socks or underwear – we shall never speak of again.

I arrive very early morning and crash at the embassy. My eyebags are set on “extra puffy”.

The Filipino community got the memo on dark suits.



That's my batchmate RO with the flowers. She hasn't finished cadetship yet, but she's been posted for a year now, and is doing a heck of a job as a kick-ass officer in Kuwait. Suck on that, "Institution!"

Work done, some long lost batchmates have just enough time to get together for a quick photo before takeoff (random meetings around the world among batchmates will be an increasingly frequent -and poignant- moment in the near future, as we start getting deployed to far off places in the coming months; it’ll be like a long running sitcom getting cancelled, and the cast later making special appearances on each other's new shows; or a Spice Girls reunion)

"This is your captain speaking. Our estimated departure is…um...sometime tomorrow. Y'all have to get off for now. But, hey, help yourself to the moist towelletes on the way out."

For the impromptu meeting with the Filcom, our hosts are kind enough to lend us one of their palaces (they had a few)

Next day. The people at the airport are probably saying “Are you guys still here?!” =)

"LL" STANDS FOR "LOVES LEVI'S"

I have a confession to make.

I love Levi's.

I love them for their comfort, style and durability.

I love them for their timelessness.

I love them because I like saying "rivets".

I love them even though they launched their "shrink-to-fit" 501's in 1984 of all years (Seriously, if you're a skinny self-conscious kid in the 80's, and you need your soiree-wear as Bagets tight as possible, you don't have time to wait for your jeans to come out of the wash and shrink! I need to moonwalk, now! Really, you couldn't have launched them during my '90's thug-gangsta phase?)

I love their naughty/sexy ads. None of those annoying Gap dancing wusses.

I love that according to their website, in the 1930s, consumers complained that the metal rivets on Levi's back pockets tended to scratch furniture, saddles and car seats, so they redesigned the way the pockets were sewn, placing the rivets underneath the fabric. That's social responsibility right there, people.

As a guy, I also gotta love them for taking zippers away from where my "business" is. I can only imagine the events that inspired this.

Yes, I love Levi's as much as a man can love a centuries-old company founded by Bavarian immigrants without violating the laws of nature.

And I love them wholly, freely, unconditionally.

It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with this:

(next week: I profess an unhealthy lust for event organizers De La Salle Graduate School of Business, venue Aruba Bar [Mall of Asia], and secondary sponsors Bayantel Wireless, Chalk magazine, E-Aji Potato Chips and Super M Strawberry-flavored yogurt drink)