APRIL FOOLS JOKES OF A GEO-POLITICAL NATURE? YES PLEASE.

Since there's precedent for taking in new Foreign Service Officers on April 1, why don't we make this part of the next FSO exams: for 10,000 points and without googling, identify the only NON-fake story from the day's papers:


"Adding the biggest name in British media to the election team is a huge coup for Nick."

"They have launched an internet campaign to return to the old tradition of a solitary smacker."

 "There is no way One Direction will be allowed to play here without a trip to the barbers."

"...the traditional 'blue helmet' colour scheme could be misinterpreted as a show of support..." 

For 10,000 more bonus points: this is the greatest idea in world history. Discuss.