3.25.2017

WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS NEWS SITE'S STOCK PHOTO-HEADLINE ALGORITHM



Because it has been gloriously ON FIRE to start the year!

I thought 2016's Starship Trooper Corn/Rice bug remover and Pervert Kermit photo-headlines were just unicorns -- things of legendary brilliance you'd catch once or twice in a lifetime, if at all. But no! This news site's SciTech section has proven this year to be more of a golden goose, timely popping out priceless easter eggs for discovery among the day's non-fake news.

The site's mad genius lies not in the tenuous association between the main headline and the picture at first glance, but within the subtle yet powerful assimilation of the secondary subject and image that results in an absurd demon love child of a news thumbnail. (I believe the algorithmic formula for this is Apple-Pen + Pineapple-Pen (uh) = Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen)

Truth be told, I'm starting to believe the photos are a product of a couple of IT-nerd interns rather than some computer script -- the image choice/pop-culture reference mash-ups are just so ironic and inspired to be beyond artificial intelligence, yet more than enough to restore faith in humanity. Either way, all welcome our stock photo-headline overlords.


See, now this is an origin story



When your mom wants to be your date to the dance, explained



Oh...OH MY GOD!!!



Germany leads the fightback against vampire bats, and vampires be like



The thesis proposal was basically Amazing Fantasy #15



So that's how the sausage is made



(actually, this is totally perfect)



Not to mention time rifts



And clean coal sends its regards



Denial is not just a river in Egypt 

the end is nigh

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