MY BATCH ISN'T BITTER. WE'RE NOT BITTER AT ALL

A year ago, it was the "World-Class Foreign Service" series.   Despite the best efforts of some batchmates to sneak in some bootleg versions, none of us ever got featured.

Moral: don't chase windmills.  Or exercise.

The department has now rolled out a new recruitment ad, one that showcases the diversity of FSO talents   

not to mention someone's mad digital photography and desktop publishing skillz 

Respect.  But I'd still match my batch's eclecticity(?) against anyone else's.  Among other professions, we got lawyers, a girls' high school math teacher, a stock broker/college professor, a call centre agent, a European languages expert, a couple of co-eds fresh out of college, and not one but two seminarians. Plus a fantasy basketball commissioner.  We're very well rounded is what I'm saying.  That plus our innate photogenic charms should merit us ad consideration, no?  We'll even make it easier for the decision makers and submit our own bootleg version.

   that person with the digital skillz will maybe just have to photoshop some abs

CLEAN UP ON ISLES ONE AND TWO

As luck would have it, the LLDD-Hyphen-L's work took her back-to-back to two of Britain's most famous offshore destinations - the Isle of Man and the Isle of Wight.  The big question is: which should receive coveted "Isle be back" status?  Let's break it down.

SYMBOLS

Isle of Man

                                                                                                                                                                                                             


Isle of Wight

                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                     Who cleans up?

The Isle of Wight symbols are (wait for it) awwight.  The Isle of Man, on the other hand, is rocking a coat of arms made up of...legs. Trippy!  Plus, the IOM's triskelion looks as fierce as the Glaive from Krull.

NATIVES' NICKNAME

Isle of Man

Manx

Isle of Wight

Caulkheads

Who cleans up?

moving right along . . .



SIGHTSEEING

Isle of Man

Isle of Wight

Who cleans up?

Similar land and seascapes, and both places have a wide array of castles, amusement parks, shop/dine districts and other attractions to keep your average tourist very busy.  If there's one thing that might separate the two isles for traveller purposes, it's that the Isle of Wight is at one of the most southerly and therefore milder parts of the UK, while the Isle of Man is much further up north with higher average rainfall and prevailing winds that give visitors 80's big hair.

      which is good

COOLNESS ENHANCER

Isle of Man

The International Isle of Man TT (Tourist Trophy) Race

                                                                                                                                             Isle of Wight

The Isle of Wight Festival

                                                    Who cleans up?

I'm neither a follower of motor sports nor a fan of hipster festival-goers, but respect where respect is due: both events have storied histories, are world famous and absolute must-sees within their genres.  Still, where the TT Race has long been one of the most prestigious road races in the world and spawned cool video games and a badass 3D/Imax movie, the Isle of Wight Festival has gone from once epically hosting Hendrix and The Who to now featuring Big Brother contestants getting booed off stage. 

GEEK CHIC-INESS

Isle of Man

Two words:  Space. Travel.

Isle of Wight

One word: Dinosaurs.

                                                                                                                                         Who cleans up?

Well obviously, this would be the one area where the two British isles should be made to work together rather than against each other.

Obviously

"BEACHES"

Isle of Man

                                                                                                                                             Isle of Wight

                                                                                                                                         Who cleans up?

This is my Boracay pride and prejudice talking, but I utterly refuse to call a British shore a "beach" whenever its "sand" is the size of driveway gravel.  Surely there must be some EU regulation or ISO standard mandating proper name use of any seaside that you can't walk on barefoot without going "ow....ow....ow....ow."   These places are beaches the same way Tagaytay Highlands is in Scotland.

Maniwala ka sa akin anak, HINDI GANYAN ANG BEACH!

WATER WACKINESS

Isle of Man 

Tin Bath Championships

                                                                                                                                             Isle of Wight

Aquaboats for three-year olds



Who cleans up?

Tin Bath Championships look like great fun and would make a great name for a rock band. On the other hand, like videos of squirrels water-skiing, the LLDD-Baby doing water donuts is something I could watch for hours on end with a grin on my face.  We're all winners here.

Or maybe I'm just in (wait for it) den-Isle. 

BATTLE OF THE BARONGS

It took me my full six-year term abroad to realize it -- Foreign Service Posts' annual Independence Day pictures are so much more awesome than Foreign Service Posts' annual Christmas pictures.   Maybe it's the historical significance of the occasion, the absence of photoshopped winter wonderland backgrounds, or the simple truth warm June weather = full Filipiniana > > > > ugly sweaters.  Whatever the reason, Philippine missions around the world upped their fashionalista game and were all like, it's on...like kalaya-ON.

LONDON

See, right there.   Other embassies and consulates shouldn't even think of bringing anything weak, not when my house just went frickin' epic.  I want to weep, run through a wall and get an Aguinaldo haircut just looking at it.  A diorama of this belongs in the Ayala Museum.

WASHINGTON

Ok fine, other missions brought it too. This picture's perfect symmetry, chair arc and comfortable fitting of so many people in obviously limited room width are particularly impressive.  High degree of difficulty.  

OTTOWA

Panalo ang backdrop.  Les Mis ang dating.

YANGON

Hand-on-Heart Stairs Cascade.  Yes.

CANBERRA

Hand-on-Heart Stairs Cascade while Ambassador rocks the Ray-ban. HELL. YES.

HONG KONG

Sturdy chair-wall of officers holding back the rising tide of civil servants behind them, waiting for the right time to open the floodgates of public service.  Dam.

WELLINGTON

Speaking of gates and fences. . .Hi, neighbours across the road!  Just lining up and having a flag-raising over here!


MILAN 

Sun's out, Polo Barong Guns out

PORT MORESBY

Call me a sentimental sap, but there's something quintessentially Filipino about holding a flag ceremony on a basketball court.

MANILA

Along those lines...'sup 'Dray.

This is not to say all Independence Day pics have to be so formal and uniform.  Sa araw ng kalayaan, you can take a few liberties (har!)    

NEW YORK

Instagram filtered.  Of course they did


CAIRO

Shot from below, assuring the viewer that the subjects are in total control of the situation.  Or maybe the tripod was just a bit short.  

SEOUL

Fish-eye?  Fish eye.


MOSCOW

The alternate road jerseys may not be traditional Filipiniana, but if you look closely you'll see the individual shirts working together to communally form an even larger Philippine flag.  On Independence Day, even casualwear practices Bayanihan.  

NAIROBI

And when the alternate road jerseys are this dope, even mis-timed jump shots are perfectly acceptable

KUALA LUMPUR

Selfies? No.  Selfie-noys? Yes.

And of course....there will always be....for 116 years and counting....ang walang kamatayan..."WACKY" 

RIYADH

More "Mabuhay!" than "Mag-wacky!", but the waving arms and circular formation ended up looking like a close-up of a gorgeous flower.  Well done.

VANCOUVER

Once you go plaque, you never go back


TORONTO

I count at least five different gang signs.  Yet they all get along.



(AND COMING FULL CIRCLE BACK TO) LONDON

"Papayag ba tayo magpatalo sa pag-wacky mga kapatid!?!"

"BLOODY HINDI!!!!"

Mabuhay!