BATCH PICTURE-PICTURE 2017: WE'RE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE

So I wanted to get gassed up after lunch...sorry, let me try that again. One lunchbreak, I wanted to eat out and afterwards re-fuel my automobile. So I sent a casual invite to any batchmates straggling at the home-office who wanted to join me. A grand total of four were available which, workload and foreign assignments considered, was about all we could hope for. Anyway, as we were driving, one of us remarked "'di ba ngayon tayo nagba-batch picture-picture?"

And so it came to pass at a Macapagal intersection:

No theme, no backdrop, no nothing. And the batch at half-strength.

And yet...not bad. 

Still, I'm sure it would have been an even better picture if everyone based in the home-office was around.

there you go

IT'S LIKE WE NEVER LEFT

Yes kiddies, it's that time of the year again when the batch tries to gather everyone for a group picture, a.k.a, cat herding. We've had some success in the past years, especially when many of us were still at the home office, but now that 90% of the batch is at post -- fuhgeddaboutit. This myfacester craze on the interweb that the kids are talking about has helped us come together somewhat, and every year there still seems to be a healthy debate within the batch as to what the "theme" of the photos should be. Trouble is, everyone now appears to be so engrossed with Farmvi...er, busy at work that the pictures sent in from supposedly far-off and exotic posts - how shall we put this - LOOK LIKE THEY WERE JUST TAKEN AT OUR PASAY OFFICES FIVE YEARS YEARS AGO!

(AND NO, I'M NOT SAYING WE LOOK LIKE WE HAVEN'T AGED!!!)

Thus:

Where the Picture was Supposedly Taken - San Francisco

Where I Think it was Actually Taken -

A model unit for condominuim development along Roxas Boulevard (complete with overly-aggressive saleslady)

Where the Picture was Supposedly Taken - Vancouver

Where I Think it was Actually Taken -

The Home Office Passport section (when you need the right shade of royal blue background)

Where the Picture was Supposedly Taken - Madrid
Where I Think It was Actually Taken -

With affidavit in hand and enticing look in the eye, like at one of the "mixer" places along Libertad.

Where the Photo was Supposedly Taken - Dubai

Where I think it was Actually Taken -

The home office roof deck, the one that overlooks Ms. Universal (if you know my batchmate above, you know this to be probably true)



Where the Photo was Supposedly Taken - Singapore

Where I think the Photo was Actually Taken -

That...ahem...drive-in...um..."establishment" across the "mixers" along Libertad.

I mean, where's the effort?! Where's the imagination?! Where are the freakin' landmarks!!!! Did anyone even bother to step outside?!? Must it be left to me again to show you how a location shoot is done!?!

Where the Picture was Supposedly Taken - London

Where the Picture was Actually Taken -

...er....the conference room at my old office in Pasay, together with the only remaining un-posted batchmates.

(did I fail to mention I'm in Manila right now? I thought the foreshadowing alert from the previous blogpost took care of that.)

So...um...yeah!! Great work, batch! Wonderful pics once more! Let's do this again next year! And let our theme then be "office pantries", or something exotic like that.

HEY, HEY THE GANG'S (VIRTUALLY) ALL HERE

End of January already? Then it must be time for the traditional batch picture-picture! Yep, that time of the year when we voluntarily capture indisputable visual proof of how progressively fat and old we are getting!

(and by “we”, I mean “me” dragging everyone else down into my wrinkled, double-chinned world)

This year had a very different feel to it, as practically everyone was already away at post or on scholarship. Through harassment of the batch's Facebook mafia, however, word quickly came down that everyone had to take a picture of themselves in front of a local landmark on a date and time certain, or else be social-network shunned.

Well. No one wants to be shut out of all those compelling “X is going downstairs” and “Y is now a fan of air” status updates now, do they? So comply most everyone did (those who didn’t are dead to us, at least until we wanna go to their city and need a place to crash). And I must say in all seriousness, people looked good. And happy. And safe. Which is great because, in the end, isn’t that all you can ever ask for your batchmates every year?

(unless that someone asked is me, in which case my question is “Oh, who is s/he kidding?! S/he had eyebags and arm flab in 2005!!!”)

So greetings from:

The Home Office

 

Where you're never too old to throw dorky gang signs. (BTW, the "landmark" was chosen "ironically") 

Tel Aviv

 

Didn't set the time stamp and posed behind a bush. For security reasons. Totally understand.

Singapore

Nice Oranges?

San Francisco and Dubai

 

No no no, dear, wrong way. You Escape FROM Alcatraz. . .

 

. . . oh I see, she's running away from our constipated-looking stalker DOM batchmate. Carry on, kids. 

Hong Kong

 

Kung Hei Fat Boy! (hey!) 

Agana 

"...that I will execute the office faithfully...er...faithfully execute...er...I will be faithful...er...Do over! Do over!"

Vancouver and Islamabad

waaaaiiit a minute...It's late January, and people are in short-sleeves and v-necks in Canada, while there's snow on the ground in Pakistan? Weather control has finally happened, hasn't it? Just like Superman III said it would.

Madrid

 

"Esta aqui prueba dela vida. Payer el ransom en cheques de regalo de Zara" 

See y'all next year! Hope we still fit into the picture frame!

MEME-ORIES, LIGHT THE CORNERS OF MY MIND. MESSY WATER COOLER MEME-ORIES....

While I've long advocated that the batch's annual around-the-world picture-picture should take place outdoors so that we can actually see what things look like, you know, around the world, I won't complain about this year's office mess meme-theme. It warmed my heart to see rooms were shambolic everywhere, and the corresponding crossfire comments on Facebook were sufficiently sarcastic and/or self-loathing to make me feel much better about my own squalor. Thanks, Batch!

Madrid

"My desk looks 'busy' because I haven't filed anything since 2011"
"Malamig? No heater?"

Singapore

"It is not my fault that IKEA had a pink-and-purple color theme going on the last time I went shopping for office decor."
"Ask your staff to give you folders only in purple"

San Francisco

"how does he get into his desk?"

"Pareho kami ng tanong. The answer: MAGIC!"

‎"With style. Always with style."

"Nagpose lang"

"I have to say - ang payat mo na. Nakakainis ka. Wag ka tatabi sa akin."

"I was more concerned about my pimple rather than what my desk looks like"

Canberra

"he looks serious"

"I've found that babies in the office are very useful for stamp and envelope moistening"

"With him at work, I have mastered how to type with one hand. Next time I rapporteur, I can bring him along."

"He hasn't aged a day (damn him)"

Islamabad

"Plantsadong plantsadong si mister. Wacky shot naman dyan!"

"Mahirap nang magpakuha ng wacky shot. Baka di na ako igalang ng local hire namin"

Vancouver

(no comments posted yet, but I would say that blue folder just plain gave up and burst its guts out)

Agana

"anlinis o!"

"totoo ba yan?"

"Maximalist painting! I remembered something from cadetship!"

Hong Kong

"I can understand the masks and the Palawan pic but a chicken on your desk??? what the.."

Dubai

"I am scarred by the thought that he actually has a Jacuzzi in his bathroom"

"I thought you were going to pose IN the jacuzzi"

"It's a picture of a bathtub, yet i feel so...dirty"

Athens (newly assigned batchmate first reporting for duty that day)

"Amoy pintura pa ba?"

London

"Because my desk's too messy to Plank, and because I want to see our Dubai batchmate Leisure Dive into his office jacuzzi"

O, 'di-Bow? Sa uulitin batch!

THE MOST DEPRESSING TIME OF THE YEAR

Count me among the January-24-is-the-Most-Depressing-Day-of-the-Year believers. Aside from everything else, the day coincided with our annual Batch picture taking, and the occasion only highlighted our dwindling numbers as more and more of us get assigned abroad. In fact, two batchmates were scheduled to fly out for good that very weekend.

“Wait just a freakin' minute, Mr. Sensitive!” you say. “Isn’t the whole point of the foreign service to get posted? Why should that be depressing? Quit whining, you weenie. Envoy up!”

Well, three quick replies: a) yeah, we know we're all going to be assigned abroad eventually, but still, these are really good friends who are leaving in rapid succession and who've been with me since the start of my career as an FSO, and that would make even Dr. Phil misty; b) the way things are shaping up, I might go “I am Legend” and be the Batch’s last man standing at the Home Office (which means, among others, I’d have to spring for EVERYONE’S despedida and going away present. Hmp!); and c) have you tried to schedule a live Fantasy draft across time zones?

Fortunately, later that evening we had the supreme anti-depressant: the Triple-V Ultimate Buffet! We feted our departing batchmates to lechon, seafood, mango mousse, bottomless ice tea, and everything else they’ll crave at post.

Nothing relieves misery like indigestion, I always say.

The Batch picture itself didn’t even turn out that nice, mostly because the boys had the maturity of kindergarteners and couldn’t keep still and stop putting sungay on the girls. Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR future ambassadors! =)


Adieu to two more batchmates. The one on the left (and rocking the ‘stache) is SHY LONG COZEN JUROR, who’s off to Saudi Arabia. The one on the right is COMMAND DOE RED, who’s headed to Pakistan (no lame jokes this time; just best wishes, and stay safe).

Rock on, lads. Rock on.

DD'S TIMES THREE

I'm openly plagiarizing this idea from the LLDD's batch blog. The batch has managed to take group photos on the same day for the last three years. The first one was on the last day of our oral examinations at the Hyatt (the final step before becoming full-fledged DD's; well, that and the psychological exam). The second was on (almost) the last day of cadetship in Banaue. The third was on, well, a Friday.

The batch plans to take a group picture every year hence. Those who are unavailable or abroad have to send in a picture of themselves holding that day's newspaper or in front a landmark.

So three years from now, you'll find me holding a copy of Bulgar! in front of Ms. Universal.

2005

2006

2007

(Bonus fun game! One of the LLDD's fellow...um... Dirty Old Men is in every picture, but he's in his usual "stalker" mode, so he can see you but you can't see him. Find Waldo!)

PREVIOUSLY, ON ADMIN . . . (JANUARY)

ADMIN HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

After video review, the III has been ruled a II.

my foot was on the line

Yep yep, me and my batchmates were all duly promoted last January by the Department to the next higher rank, enabling us to knock one roman numeral off our FSO titles, call ourselves "Second Secretaries" rather than "the Third Secs", and make all the obligatory "Wala na akong Vice!" jokes with respect to our "Consul" tags. The pun implications of the promotion were truly significant.

It should have been a more joyous occasion for me, except at the time the promotion only served to reinforce my office concierge role, which in turn kept me so busy I wasn't even able to join the scheduled batch annual picture-picture.  Fortunately (or unfortunately), most everyone else in the Batch was also swamped with work, with only one guy able to take part, and behold his contribution to this year's chosen theme "Celebrate our Promotion - Jump Shot!"

we're getting old

LLDD-HYPHEN-L / LLDD-BABY / LONDON LIVING HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

Never too young to be a fashionista, the LLDD-Hyphen-L always says.  So despite the freezing cold, the LLDD-Baby and I were bundled off to the Royal V & A Museum to see a special exhibition of some world famous dresses and ball gowns.  

Hm..? No, wala namam akong atraso sa LLDD-Hyphen-L when we went.  Why do you ask?

I have the same smile whenever I choose pizza toppings

The joke was on the LLDD-Hyphen-L, however, as the LLDD-Baby slept through the entire exhibit, and then woke up to, of all things, a strange flash-mob of people in full pirate regalia.  The LLDD-Baby probably now thinks the LLDD-Hyphen-L's fashion taste skews towards heavy eyeliner, skin-tight corsets and other apparatuses that push things "up"

No, baby.  That's what Dada wants Mama's wardrobe to skew towards.  

Wench, please.

         

150 YEARS...AND HE'S AGED BETTER THAN WE HAVE

Yep yep, that time of the year again when our batch tries to put together pictures of ourselves. We've long given up getting all posts to take part every year (or even taking part ever; we're looking at YOU, Los Angeles PCG!), so we decided that we would try to make this year's occasion more meaningful instead. Thus, this being Rizal's 150th year, all shots were taken with each mission's resident image of the good doctor. Good dorky, patriotic fun.

150 years from now, Los Angeles will finally join in.

London

If this batch member was cast as a Noli character, he/she would be: The obvious choice would be the smart, handsome and brave Crisostomo Ibarra, but let's go instead with Pilosopong Tasio if only because of this particularly-awesome-at-the-end entry found on ask.com

"Pilosopo Tasio or also known as Don Anastasio, portrayed in the novel as the pessimistic and the cynical. Pilosopo Tasyo was based off Anatasio Carpio who inherited titled lands around the small town of Camiling within Tarlac. Educated in Spanish Law, and born under the Catholic banner, Don Anatasio was a person constantly in struggle between his education and religion. In real life, Don Anatasio continued to practice Spanish Law by day, and an active subversive for the revolution at night. He was also a member of a secret masonic fraternity which provided overseas funding and support to the movement. A well respected figure and legend (akin to Yoda in Star Wars) within the Ilocano community."

San Francisco

If these batch members were cast as Noli characters, he/she would be: For no particular reason, Don Tiburcio and Dona Victorina just feel right.

Hong Kong

If this batch member was cast as a Noli character, he/she would be: For the life of me, I still can't tell if that image of Rizal is a standing tarpaulin poster that's actually there, or if it was just photoshopped into the picture. Either way, well done! Let's just write this off as a Rizal in exile period.

Madrid

If these batch members were cast as Noli characters, he/she would be: Basilio and Crispin (What, it's been a 150 years. Times have changed!)

Singapore

If this batch member was cast as a Noli character, he/she would be: Sisa.

Home Office

If this batch member was cast as a Noli character, he/she would be: Holy Noli! It's Maria Clara with....Rizal!!!!

(well, the Rizal-lookalike DFA Officer known as "Sexy Teng" anyway; he may be 150 years old too =)