EIGHT MORE REASONS MY HOME OFFICE IS MORE AWESOME THAN YOUR HOME OFFICE

Trippin' on the Department's Sauron-like ceiling got me acid-flashbacking on what made the home office awesome, and then to thinking it's about time I shouted out some of its other underappreciated coolness

• Yeah, your office has probably had an exhibit of indigenous textiles in its lobby at some point. Ours had the freakin' Bayanihan dance group stage a flying fabric fashion show. That's how we do.

• And the accompanying open bar of Philippine liquors at events like these - magnifico! **puts fingers to puckered lips**

• The periodic book sales/exchanges held outside the cafeteria seem to know what personnel really want.

• Right at the Department's front entrance are some rock formations jutting out of a body of water patrolled by some chill Pinoy amphibians (who I've named Scarborough and Spratly). Stretching the analogy further: just like our marooned Marines, the turtles are sustained by occasional air drops from the nearby Jollibee =)

• Sure, some hip progressive offices out there might offer free back rubs to employees. Ours once had a spa set up and give out back, foot, body massages and facials and diamond peels

• Our office-issued shake drill safety helmets are apparently sponsored by the Ceelin vitamins kid

• A safe, sensible office would think to place hand sanitizers on receptionists' desks. Ours puts out body lotion. Makes us feel, you know, loved. And attractive.

• At the end of a workweek, there's still nothing like the view from our roofdeck to make you reflect upon the most profound life questions ahead of you

like, saan tayo kakain, MOA o dampa?

ORALS HISTORY

So I was surprised to be invited to the Formal Dinner portion of the latest FSO examinations. I'd never been asked to attend one since I became an officer, and I didn't realize it had already been over 10 years since I went to mine. I kindaaa wanna say the dinner brought back fond memories of my own oral exams, but to be honest it was all a bit of a blur back then AND I was actually the first candidate of my batch to be called up to give remarks which meant after I finished I could drink wine the rest of the evening while the rest of my batchmates waited for their turn and did I mention it was all a slurry blur back then?

But seriously, this Dad-mind can't remember where he placed his car keys this morning, let alone what happened at a dinner a decade ago. But the recent dinner did trigger a few flashbacks in my head.

I do remember, for instance, the invitation to my dinner stating the recommended event attire as "Filipiniana" (which I suppose has always been the case). What I didn't realize then - and was reminded of now - was how seriously the Department's Senior Officials apparently took this suggestion. Even though the formal dinner would take place near the Home Office and right after work hours -- which to my mind justifies invitees coming in their straight-from-office attire -- everyone arrived having obviously taken the time to clean up, get made-up, and change into Pinoy finery you'd only associate with Embassy June 12 events. This was a big deal.

This was OUR nerd-prom!

And I don't remember anymore who were the guests at my table during my oral exam, but I do know they always seat between examinees distinguished senior officials, academics, artists and the like. 

So I ask, why the heck was I invited to this thing again? 

(UPDATE: They just released the results of the exams, and I thiiiiiink the topnotcher sat at my table. She may have heard my priceless advice "yeah, just keep talking")

Finally, I recall a wonky detail: during my exam, I remember the thing was administered by the Undersecretary for Administration. This year (and I'm not sure since when), the event was run by the Undersecretary for Policy. So my invitation now makes sense -- the man was still on my case about not getting his memo, and now he wanted me to witness him basking in the glow of the cadets.

Legend

BLOODY BRILLIANT

atm, donating blood, lying on a cot lightheaded, staring at the auditorium ceiling.

hanep sa trip, pare

I'm telling you man, it's like i'm inside a kaleidoscope eye of sauron. Four Stars!

AMINO! ... I MEAN, INA MO! ... I MEAN, ANIMO!

yeah, 'yun...Animo...Animo, LASHALLE!! 'Di pa tayo lasheng!!!

Whatever. Best of times with the oldest of friends.

pero late na, uwi na raw tayo *9.30pm*

LET'S CHECK UP ON THIS NEWS SITE'S STOCK PHOTO-HEADLINE ALGORITHM MID-YEAR PERFORMANCE SHALL WE

The Science and Research section seems to have cooled off from its hot start to the year, but its quality remains top-notch

I mean, who else would you pair with this headline?

Cowabunga, indeed.

This is a bad sign.

If by soon you mean 2265...

... and not soon enough for Ah-nuld.

That's it. The Rebels are there.

So...your solution is...weaponize Larry the cat??

??????

The good news: the same site's Health and Wellness section seems to be willing to take up the slack -- with Disney princesses!


Ha! Prince Charming's kissing game be weak!

Makes sense. Fish tail known to increase type-2 risk.

On the other hand, the site's Showbiz section doesn't seem to know how Spoiler Alerts work.

(UPDATE!)

The site's Sports section just came out with breaking news on my phone and...oh...never mind.