PREVIOUSLY, ON ADMIN . . . (OCTOBER)

ADMIN HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

Citizens of Britain! We come in peace, and herald the arrival of our royal family: Mang Thomas, Mama Sita, and Boy Bawang! 

you are SO welcome!

LLDD-HYPHEN-L / LLDD-BABY HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

Camden is one of those places that lays claim to having a happenin', stylish and bohemian scene -- and which would be so much more enjoyable but for the too-cool-for-school, hipster and pa-intellectual types that seem to flock to it. I once, for instance, sat across a Camden man and woman on a train who were having an "argument", i.e., duelling monologues meant to display purportedly deep and sharp reasoning (in voices calibrated to be heard by all those around them, of course).  The woman had noticed that the man had looked at another girl in an attractive outfit, and was now expressing measured indignation.  The man, in turn, went into the equivalent of the "she had it coming" defense, stating he was essentially expected - nay, compelled! - by culture and norms to look at the other woman.  His finishing line (verbatim): "So ask yourself: are you mad at me, or are you mad at society?"

So yeah, Camden.  

To be sure, Camden has its charms, and many of the people and attractions there are genuinely interesting. The shopping is particularly funky - not unlike Portobello Road or Brick Lane.  And if you ask the LLDD-Hyphen-L, Camden has the distinct advantage over anywhere else because: 1) you can go in and out of there by gondola; 2) she discovered - and is now 100% certain - where my next diplomatic assignment will be.

The home office has been alerted.  There will be no discussing or negotiating this.

LONDON LIVING HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

The Sports Guy laid down the canons that led to my selection of a Premier League team, so then too shall he be cited as to my presumptively allowable sports bigamy, a.k.a, "baby, it's not cheating if we're doing it in a different quadrant of London."  The qualifying factors:

• Was I into the "other" team as early as the seminal book about it and way before the crappy Jimmy Fallon movie adaptation?  (Yes.  Yes, I truly was)
• Are the "other" team's fans suitably diverse, ranging from The Queen to Fidel, from Depeche to-ahem-Damon. (Yes. And hi, Matt.  Long time no see.)
• Does the name of the team lend itself to fantastic joke photo-cropping opportunities to make real fans look like an "arse"?  

Yes! And score!

Well, then.  I love you Arsenal, I do!

The "Marshall" was kind enough to take me and another Embassy colleague to an Arsenal match - a Champions League fixture, no less. It was a truly unforgettable experience, although I guess I was giving off too bad of a sports bigamy vibe, because: the Gunners were shut out, lost and snapped their long home-winning streak; and the visiting fans - even when the match result was still in doubt -  were far louder (and had a lot more clever chants) than the home ones.  A pair of die-hard Arsenal supporters directly in front of us lamented the lack of volume from our section of the stadium, yelling "Bloody hell, we got us a bunch of ambassadors here!"    I wanted to yell back, "One: I haven't even been promoted to FSO II yet; and Two: hey, you just be thankful for the trophies that you already have"

 and for the kinds of statues on your grounds

PREVIOUSLY, ON ADMIN . . . (NOVEMBER)

ADMIN HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

ASEAN diplomats line dancing in the dark?  ASEAN diplomats line dancing in the dark.

Because Salsa and Streetdance don't lend themselves to the principles of Consensus and Non-Interference

LLDD-HYPHEN-L / LLDD-BABY HIGHLIGHT OF THE MONTH

Back in Barcelona, baby!  I was so happy to return to this beautiful and amazing city which, aside from forever memorable to me personally, I was certain the LLDD-Hyphen-L and Baby would also immediately fall in love with and enjoy.

       So of course the LLDD-Baby slept through everything

LONDON LIVING HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

The family got another shot at leisure bonding at Harry Potter Studios, one of the area's newer and more popular attractions.  It's a thoroughly fun visit, whether or not you like the franchise and/or believe its fans forever ruined Comic-con for everyone else.

(Personally, I don't believe they did.  "Twilight", on the other hand...) 

The great thing about the place was that it meticulously maintained both the obvious fan favourite scenes (above), as well as many of the darker, less family-friendly elements of the movies.  From a Star Wars geek who plans to soon introduce his child to the joys of  Order 66, Sarlacc and the Destruction of Alderaan -- respect.

 Let's see you get some sleep now, LLDD-Baby 

PREVIOUSLY, ON ADMIN . . . (DECEMBER)

ADMIN HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

Just to be clear: I duly and responsibly did everything that was ever asked of me as Office Concierge.  It's just that, well, I wasn't particularly good at a lot of things asked of me as Officer Concierge.

Take that most administrative of responsibilities: organizing the Office Christmas Party.  During the first year of my administration (har!), I was perfectly happy to book the cheapest available civic hall, order some puto and pansit, read some official Christmas messages, play Jose Mari Chan on a loop, dress up whoever was the youngest Embassy kid as an elf, and call it a party.          

you'll pay for this one day, dada

Well. Upon arrival in London, some newly-assigned personnel brought tales of wild parties from their former posts, and it became abundantly clear that all previous Christmas gatherings of the London embassy were in fact totally baduy. I was thereafter swiftly (and rightfully) divested of any further office party responsibilities. The immediate result: last Christmas - and for the first time ever - the Embassy had a glam theme and dress code, a hotel venue and catering, proper emcees and programme, and fun games and gifts for all the kids. Heck, even my usually staid wing of the office came up with an elaborate, creative and meaningful number for the Christmas pageant competition.           

That being said, we lost out to the office that did "Gangnam Style," so some things are still universal. 

LLDD-HYPHEN-L / LLDD-BABY / LONDON LIVING HIGHLIGHT-OF-THE-MONTH

Every holiday season, Hyde Park hosts "Winter Wonderland", a huge pop-up family fair with all sorts of flashy rides, speciality food, crazy attractions and other assaults on the senses. It's like "Big Bang sa Alabang", "Payanig sa Pasig" and "Hapi-hapi sa Q.C." all rolled into one

(Wait, are any of those fairs even still around? Did I just make myself ancient to the LLDD-Baby again?)

The great thing about places like these is that they're not just for children.  Grown-ups too can find things that are fun and appealing and let them be carefree kids again.  All of which is a nice of saying "I took something that should have made me look totally bad-ass, and ended up looking like a complete dork instead."

Just to break down some of the doof-tastic elements of zip-lining at Winter Wonderland:

• You're zip-lining at Winter Wonderland.  Not from the top of Wembley or the O2. Winter Wonderland.
• The harness hikes everything you're wearing or have on you about six-inches up.  And I mean everything.
• You have to walk from the fitting area to the launch platform 200 meters away through the thousands of other Winter Wonderland-ers looking like this.

• Did I mention you'll have to walk 200 meters in public with everything hiked up?
• As much as you try to strike a Superman pose mid-air, the harness will force you into something more akin to a rear-view mirror ornament.
• This may be just me, but nothing seemed to come out of my mouth except a high-pitched "Woo-HOOO"
• At the end of everything, you're left dangling there for a good few minutes.  For everyone to see. With everything hiked up.

My "Woo-HOO" got even higher in pitch

So yeah, zip-lining over London can be fun and thrilling as it's happening, but all the other stuff before and after it can also be extremely awkward, especially for a well-known, respected public figure and dignitary.   

you knew exactly where I was going with this